Tammy's Planet II

What did Democrats have to say about John McCain?

2008-09-16T10:47:00.000-05:00

Time to get in on this too...

2008-09-16T10:40:00.001-05:00

Holy Crap!

2007-11-30T06:04:00.000-06:00

It is rare I call a cold call sales guy back at work. Even rarer that I let them come in to see me. This sales guy called me yesterday. My first thought as I listened to his phone message was "oh, this guy is good." But he said something that perked my interest so I called him back. Of course, he just happened to be in the area. Told ya he was good. Well he was meeting with one of my counterparts and then he would call and let me know he was getting close. Admittedly he forgot that part. My boss pulled me into an office for my annual review which he wanted to be all serious about and go through and I flipped to the back to find out what the grade was. The grade denotes the raise, and the grade denoted if I got hosed again or made a good decision in coming to work for him. More on that another time, maybe.

I come walking out of that meeting at about 4:30 and there is a pretty cute guy sitting with a counter part and I hear, there she is. I was still talking to my boss and we handled some things before I gave this guy the time of day....good salesman, cute guy or not.

He comes over to my desk, which I also never allow saleman at my desk. He sees all the Wisconsin stuff and says "Are you a Badger?" to which I reply, "Yeah, are you a Badger too?" Since his represents a company with Wisconsin in the name. He said, "No, I'm a Wolverine." I hestitated not in saying, "That's it, you're out here, meetings over." And having a good laugh myself. So I told him my brother went to Michigan and we discuss siblings. (Oh, and by the way, because I know Aileen is wondering, there was a wedding ring.....and I am never never never having anything but a business relationship with any supplier ever again!) Anyway, so then he says, "did you grow up in Wisconsin?" When the conversation goes in this order it always makes me giggle, "No, I'm from Michigan." "Really, where in Michigan?" "Fenton" "No way, I live in Fenton now." Its a small world. He grew up in the next town over, we knew a few of the same people. He told me how much Fenton has changed. He is going to take a picture of the house I grew up in and send it to me.

Weird.

Starts with Goodbye...

2007-11-19T10:04:00.000-06:00

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,

I guess I'm gonna have to cry,

And let go of some things I've loved,

To get to the other side,

I guess it's gonna break me down,

Like falling when you try to fly,

It's sad,

but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,

Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,

Somewhere up ahead,

just waiting for me,

Getting there means leaving things behind,

Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

2007-09-25T09:59:00.000-05:00

I hope you will all read to the end. Jay Leno puts it into perspective and makes us think about the pathetic negativity. That's right, Jay Leno!!

Jay Leno wrote this; it's the Jay Leno we don't often see...."The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true, given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed, and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence, 2/3's of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.

So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What are we so unhappy about?''Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?

Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?

Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time, and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state?

Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough.

Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all, and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.

Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes , an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.

This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have , and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?

The Commander-In Chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it...are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds, it leads; and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about "how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way"...Insane!Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media.

Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth, and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative."With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Jay Leno2007

You Rah Rah

2007-09-22T23:13:00.000-05:00

I think the only place worst than Michigan to live for a Wisconsin fan is Iowa! I hate Iowa fans. Just in case that wasn't clear...I seriously, really, to the very core of my being, hate Iowa fans. Some of them are my friends, but there is one day a year I even hate them. Today is the day...Wisconsin, thank God, beat Iowa. Iowa is intolerable enough if they lose, God forbid they win, they make you want to vomit, and I think a few times tonight, I did in fact throw up a little in my mouth.

So let's run through the roll call of Iowa fans at Pepper's tonight...

There was the bleach blond who was flirting with her granddad so he would buy her drinks. I think the old guy was clueless that she was dumping his ass the moment the game was over.

Then there was her two highly obnoxious Iowa friend fans who while they were in the bathroom at the same time as me were discussing who was dating who and one of them actually said "it doesn't matter, I don't date white guys anymore." Her parents must be so proud. Frankly, I don't think a single one of the blonds here mentioned actually went to Iowa, they looked like UNI students.

There was a table of guys, several quite cute, about my age that actually looked like they might have attending Iowa at some point in their lives and although they were cheering loud they at least waited until appropriate times unlike the aforementioned blonds who were just obnoxious.

There was another set of blondes that I met on my second trip to the bathroom...they were highly intelligent creatures that intersperse "like, umm" at least three times into every sentence. True scholars!

Then there was the recently began dating couple next to me and my Iowa fan friend and her (hang on to your dinner) Ohio State boyfriend. The dating couple were also obnoxious Iowa fans but again I believe they were actually UNI students. They were young and hadn't been dating long...and the reason I know this is they weren't comfortable with each other yet....they had the getting to know each other vibe... little touches here and there, but not too much, but much flirting.

Lastly, next to me were the old guys...the kinda creepy...don't make eye contact type of guys. Who gave me dirty looks when I didn't cheer with all the obnoxious ones.

I kept my cheering to a quiet yes, or get 'em, or go go go...I tried not to be loud, frankly I wasn't sure I wouldn't get hit if I did get loud. And I was the ONLY Wisconsin in the room. Its not that I haven't had my obnoxious fan moments...but a friend cured me of that a long time ago...in a pretty hurtful way, but it was effective none the less and I, to this day, remember never wanting to feel that way again.

"Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius"

2007-09-22T14:49:00.000-05:00

Mr. Delusional Michigan Football Fan

(Reeaaaal Men Of Genius)

Today we salute you, Mr. Delusional Michigan Football Fan

(Mr. Delusional Michigan Football Faaaaaan!)

Season after season, year after year, you try to justify your absurdly high preseason ranking

(clutching at straws!)

Season after season, year after year, you scramble to make futile attempts at damage control when the Wolverines lose to a grossly inferior opponent

(How'd Northwestern score fifty fouuuuuur?)

Inevitably, you'll bring up the past, and boast of National Championships won 40 years before you were born

(those were the daaaaaays!)

You will point out that you have more wins than any other program as though that is relevant to the current season

(been playing since the 1870s!)

Go on, ignore that home loss to your arch rivals in the regular season finale and continue to believe that you'll defeat your bowl opponent with striking ease

(we'll win by thirteeeeeeey!)

So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Emperor of Excuses, and take comfort knowing that when you don't finish in the top 25, you'll be back to number three when the preseason polls come out next year

(Mr. Delusional Michigan Football Faaaaaan!)

Goodbye my ol' friend

2007-09-17T16:59:00.000-05:00

Today I had to say goodbye to an old friend. It was a very tough day, but I had put off the inevitable as long as I could. I had to put Sassy to sleep today. She was a very sweet cat. She isn't cool and full of attitude like JT, but she was sweet and cuddly. She purred like a motor all the time. She would love up to anyone that came to the house and make sure they left the house with the gift of a pant leg covered in white and gray hair. She would sleep curled up against my shoulder or on my shoulder until it feel asleep under 13 pounds of sleeping weight.

The best part of Sassy and the thing I will always remember about her is that unlike JT she didn't always answer to her name. But when she wouldn't come to her name all I had to do was sing, and she would come and curl up in my lap purring. I will miss my friend.

I love Autumn

2007-09-16T18:01:00.000-05:00

Things I love about Autumn:

1) Badger Football!!!
2) Air off, windows open!
3) Leaves changing color
4) Apples on my trees finally turn red
5) The crisp air that reminds me of Madison!
6) BBQ smells better in the autumn especially if it includes brats
7) Everything pumpkin and cranberry

I love this time of year. Even if my allergies don't. I love this time of year!

Are the planets aligned?????

2007-09-09T08:47:00.000-05:00

MICHIGAN LOSES AGAIN!!! I nearly fainted when I turned on the tv between chores and saw Oregon up 37 to 7 on Michigan. I refrained from dancing, cuz well we were playing a late game.

Speaking of the late game....Holy crap did we just squeak by on that one. I was a little on edge during that game.

We are still two weeks from the most important game of the season. And anyone who would like to disagree with me about the validity of that statement, does not live where I do! With Michigan doing so poorly this year, they have no doubt chilled which opens the spot for the most obnoxious fans for Iowa to slip right in there.

Well I'm off, got a bunch of things to finish up for the realtor and I have to drive south tonight so I can meet my ride in the morning.

What could be more beautiful?

2007-09-01T21:01:00.000-05:00

What could be more beautiful....

Than the badgers winning the season opening game?

The Badgers winning the season opening game when Michigan doesn't.....

I don't want to jinx anything....but damn, I hope I get to see Aileen for New Years!

Irritation

2007-07-19T22:35:00.000-05:00

Someone lit a fire under some administrator's behind and they have decided its time for mom to go to rehab. They decided this today and she has to go tomorrow. Now...personally I think the insurance company is behind this because they don't want her in there over another weekend. I'm not a big fan of the insurance company. Why? Because the rehab center that my mom was in a year ago after the first set of strokes still has not been paid!! We found this out in March when she was back in the hospital and had to go to rehab again and they would not take her because they hadn't been paid. I wasn't a happy camper about this then either. That rehab center complained to who ever one complains to in the Federal Government about this and the insurance company was told to pay the bill. Several months later, they still have not paid said bill. So my mom's care suffers. I'm irritated.

My dad called me today while I was at work in a meeting. He is one of the few calls that I don't screen out during meetings. But today when he called with this it sent me into a bit of a tailspin and I went back into the meeting and remained silent because I was afraid someone might get their head handed to them to no fault of their own.

What really gets me is that so many people don't have insurance and can't get decent care, but even if you have insurance, that still doesn't guarantee you decent care. Because even though the insurance company will drop you if you don't pay your bills on time, there seems to be no incentive or even requirement that they do their share in any type of timely fashion.

The irritation gets worse when I consider that while my employer at one time had their own health insurance division, they sold in the last few years. To who? The freakin' company that isn't paying my mom's rehab bills!

2007-07-18T21:41:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Leaners has pointed out to me that yelling "Look I have shingles" may not be in my best interest. Which is just fricken hysterical to me! You have a point!

I found out today I am not traveling next week. I may actually be able to sleep in my own bed for a few days.

Seems mom had a better day today. We have gone through a week of refusing to eat, refusing to take her pills, and refusing to work with the therapists. Oh and a week of not really speaking. Today was better. She ate real food and spoke to my dad, not much but she did speak. I'm still worried about Dad. I can hear the fatigue in his voice. Just need to get to October and the house being done and they can move in and I can help more. If it doesn't make marked improvements soon, I may need to take some time off work and help out. I'm trying to avoid that after last July and taking nearly a month and a half off. I spend three months after that cleaning up the messes I created trying to keep up with work during that time. I have less on my plate this time around. I'm not in school, I'm not driving to Chicago or flying to Chicago every weekend. But there were benefits to that. Every Saturday I could divorce myself from the entire thing. I'm not as overwhelmed this year, I don't think. There's different kind of stuff on the plate this year.

Look I have shingles!

2007-07-16T22:41:00.000-05:00

Groceries

2007-07-15T21:44:00.001-05:00

While I was in school, Ryan and I had a number of conversations about the toxicity of Wal-Mart to Mom and Pop shops. I'm not a fan of Wal-Mart, no major insight there. I have had friends who work for them and I can respect what they have accomplished in a tough market, but I don't have to like the business tactics.

Ok, so on with the story. There is a little corner grocery store that since the day I moved to town I have frequented. Even when I started looking for a house, I wanted to stay close to where my apartment was because of the corner store and the comfort I had found in the area. The corner grocery has changed hands many times during my almost 10 years here. And I have always wondered why anyone buys it because I can't imagine it makes much money. Anyway, since I am rarely home, it is a good place for me to pick up the few items that I need to tide me over until the next trip. So today I stopped in to pick up some veggies and such. The two women in the check out in front of me wrote checks for their items. I don't write checks except to the kid who mows my lawn. I don't carry a checkbook. And watching the regime required to pay with a check confirmed that was a good decision. The line was quite long by the time I got to the front of the line. And though I only had a few items, it consisted of wild diet cherry pepsi and lots of veggies that didn't have bar codes! The poor kid, I felt bad for him because there was a long line and he obviously was new. I couldn't find the price for the garlic. He had to ask me if my yam was in fact a yam. And he didn't know what type of onion I was buying. I felt uncomfortable for him. We finally got through it and I think he was relieved to see me pull out the debit card.

I was thinking to myself I probably would have been annoyed had this happened at Target or Wal-Mart, but it was amusingly endearing for it to happen at my corner store.

Balance

2007-07-15T21:07:00.000-05:00

I'm 36 now. Had a birthday a few weeks ago and entered that lovely two month period of time every year when I am in fact an number higher in age than Aileen. A fact she reminded me of in my birthday card! Which made ma laugh mind you, but remember August 13th is right around the corner and one of these days I'm going to figure out how to put pink flamingos in your front your for your birthday from half way across the country!

As I think back on this last year that had really high highs and really low lows, I realize the importance of balance in life. It is not something I have always succeeded at providing in my life, in fact, it is quite the opposite. I get focused like a train on tracks. Work and school, and sick family, etc...I juggle and multi-task and the world keeps spinning and sometimes I step back and look at it and wonder what the heck I'm doing.

I think when Mom went in the hospital last week it sent me in a bit of a tailspin. I still think I deserve an oscar for getting through the week without having any type of meltdown. Only my boss knew about it and probably wouldn't have told him had we not spent an hour and a half on the phone while he drove to St. Louis for our meeting on Thursday. Speaking of which, I know I have mentioned how much I love my new boss, but Thursday was a classic example of why he and I get along so well. The supplier gave us headsets so we could hear what the tour guide was saying on the tour. So we let him go off with our other collegue and held back and he spoke what was literally in my head, "These are cool, we can hear him and hang back here and talk." We spent most of the tour trading comments about the factory floor which wouldn't have been nearly as funny as it was since the sarcasm was running pretty deep that day. It was actually a productive meeting, until McBossy left and the plant manager decided that would be a good time to take a chunk out of my backside. Underestimating me, amuses me.

Dad and I are having conversations about putting mom in a home permanently. This decision, these conversations I think are some of the most difficult I have ever had. Heavens know there have been a series of relationships good and bad that have passed through my life and ending those was never easy. But this decision is on an entirely different level than any I have had before. It has brought me to my knees crying and trying to think about what I would want in her shoes. But the decision sends ripples through the rest of the family. Those closest will feel the ripples the most which causes a lot of concern about Dad.

Balance is precarious...and in my experience...fleeting...I gotta work on that.

Not just a bad day

2007-07-11T19:09:00.000-05:00

Latest news comes while I'm having a business dinner. Dad called. Mom had another stroke and is back in the hospital. I get an Oscar for surviving dinner with no one being the wiser.

In the shadow of the arch...

2007-07-11T17:17:00.000-05:00

I'm in St. Louis. I have a fabalous view of the arch from my hotel room. I went to a supplier that I didn't have in my old job. New processes, materials....it was sweet! I had a blast asking a billion questions. I have a bunch of parts to take back with me and I'm hoping to generate some cost reduction.

Shingle decision has been made... if only it had been as easy as typing that was. I had a long dinner last night so I didn't get all the samples out of the car. But today a decision had to be made because they are roofing tomorrow. (On a side note, I just looked at the ceiling of my hotel room. There are two heights in the room and the different heights have different size texturing. It looks .... odd.) After a long brainstorming session on Monday night regarding the colors of the house when I started looking at them again today I was on a bit of overwhelm. But I was coming down to the wire and needed to make a decision. So I called my dad....I knew instantly when he answered the phone things weren't going well. My mom refused to eat, take her pills, or do therapy today with the visiting nurses. I tried to tell day she is probably just having a day. She is probably just mad at the world and mad about her situation. Dad didn't sound like he was buying it and frankly I'm not sure I do either. Let's just pray tomorrow is a better day. I didn't talk to him about the shingles at that point but then once I was off the phone with him I couldn't concentrate enough to focus on the decision at hand which was still the stupid shingles which though seem trivial in the light of my mom's condition is a decision I have to live with until Uncle John moves me next. I called my brainstorming partner who also helped out with a few well timed laughs. Decision made...finally.

I'm off to dinner. Dolce Beijos.

How about a little politics....

2007-07-10T20:49:00.000-05:00

I spent a few hours in a car today and when I wasn't singing like the car rock star I am, I was thinking. Don't say it I know that is a dangerous thing. Since politics is one of my favorite subjects let's talk politics.

I spent a few years of my life near Philly I have a little interest in the civil war...So let's consider a couple of facts that you can draw your own conclusions from because I'm not even sure what I will do with these yet...

Somewhere between 46,000 and 51,000 men were killed in the Battle of Gettysburg. It was a three day long war. General Lee attempted to resign after the battle, his resignation was declined.

3,609 Americans have died in the Iraq war, which has been going on for four years. Impeachment is being called for by some.

Presidential race:

Clinton: As much as I would love to have a female president and I believe the US is ready for a female president. I'm torn as to my beliefs of how it would be received by the rest of the world and how it would impact the power of "the office". My largest concern here has nothing to do with gender... As Americans, do we really want to have "the office" controlled by 2 families for over 20 years?

Obama: I like Obama, he is well spoken, impressive, and has the necessary presence required for the office. Now if it wouldn't take increasing the size of the government by 5 in order to support his programs, I think he would be a great candidate.

Edwards: Four years ago, Edwards was my fav. I have said it before, had he been at the top of the ticket, I would have actually had a decision to make in the last election. I don't think he is doing as good a job this time at connecting to the public. I think he presence and strength from the first campaign has been deserted to attempt a different strategy. I liked the first strategy better. He was more positive, maybe a bit more idealistic but with vision. I liked it.

On the other side of the fence:

Giuliani - He started way too early. He should have held out on his decision to run. Everyone knew he was going to run, there was no reason to start so early. I like Rudy and I think he would make a good president. However, he can't build his entire platform on 9-11.

McCain - Its over.

Thompson - The smartest of them all...he had stayed out of the race, but not really. He hasn't announced anything. He hasn't stated hardly any of his views. But he has everyone really curious. I will be disappointed if he announces in September. Still too early. Keep 'em guessing and wanting. I think he has a good shot because he is playing a smart game.

That was my thoughts for the day on politics.

Waxing Nostalgia and Building the Future

2007-07-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

OK....house time! Ready? Are ya sure? Here it is. Its small but its cozy. I can't wait for it to be done. I have to pick shingles because they are roofing on Thursday. This hasn't been an easy decision and it still isn't made.

So my post and Aileen's comment a few posts back got me thinking about Madtown and where people are now. Leener's...I have no idea why I looked him up but I looked him up along with a buncha other people...Paul is in Dublin, OH now! I have no idea what he is doing there, but that is where he is. I almost emailed Mattie to ask what he was doing there, but thought better of it. You know Mattie would tell Paul and Paul would go off on a ego trip about me pining for him still which even though it could not be further from the truth, the idea of him thinking it makes me vomit in my mouth.

JP the elder was in town from Mexico a week ago. And since I happened to be home part of the week, we went out for drinks. JP it was good to see you man! JP says, "you don't keep up on your blog anymore." What can I say I'm a busy girl! I will try harder to keep this up. But I expect comments, lotsa comments JP!

I talked with Dan from school today. I sent him an email last week about the benefits of his job choice over mine....it went like this...first the subject line was "I wanna be like Dan."

If I worked in finance…
I could work banker's hours.
I could make money hand over fist and produce nothing tangible.
I go running over my lunch hour and still not sweat all afternoon.
I could live in great places on the coast near water.
I could sleep in my own bed every night.
But alas, I have chosen a much less glamorous path,
It's true, I make widgets instead. The whoa's of a widget maker…
We work tirelessly.
We don't make crap for salary. (its all in the bonus)
I work at my desk over lunch.
I live in the middle of no where with no water in sight.
And I spend more time in hotels than my own home.
But I gotta say I love it!!

Dan...was on vacation last week and didn't receive this until today. He was at the beach last week. The beach. The life of those that chose finance. I may have to rethink this one day. Danny and I had a good laugh over this one. I miss Saturday morning breakfast at Gleacher with Danny and a bowl of apple juice oatmeal.

All right, night owl is going to bed. In my now chilly hotel room (a story for another night) thanks to the Steele man!

Traveling!

2007-06-20T04:29:00.001-05:00

I don't know what kind of hellious storm went through Detroit yesterday prior to my arrival there, but that place was a mess and gave all new meaning to the words incompetent ground crew. I should have flown through Chicago. The good news is that once I move, I will use a different airport as my home airport and I will be able to use Memphis as the hub to get to South Carolina. Its 5:30 am and most of you know I am not a morning person so this is dang early for me because technically it is 4:30 for me. The engineers wanted to be at the supplier at 7 am this morning. Truly not my favorite people at this time of the morning. I keep adding another lamp to the "I will wake up this morning" mix here.

So Detroit - Our flight got into Detroit early. I had an hour and a half lay over, during which I was planning on enjoying a burger from Fudruckers. For anyone who has flown into Detroit the new terminal is like ten miles away from where you land so you taxi forever. We get over to our gate and we stop, not at our gate but away from it waiting for another plane to vacate it. 5-10 minutes later the pilot comes on "they are getting ready to move the plane we should only be here a couple more minutes." Ten minutes later, pilot comes on "Ladies and Gentlemen, they have gone ahead and changed our gate, we will be entering in Bravo 6. We should just be a few minutes to get over to that gate." So off we go to that gate, but again don't pull up to it because there is no there to wave us in. Ten minutes later the pilot comes on "L and G, we are sorry for the delay thank you for your patience, please stay in your seats with your seatbelts fastened we should only be a few minutes more." I have no patience, especially when my bladder is screaming! We get to the gate finally, people start standing up, my bladder is anxiously awaiting deplaning. No gate agent to manuever jetway to the plane. We waited another 25 minutes for that to happen. The pilot actually came on at one point and said "L and G, we are beginning to wonder if we will be spending more time on the tarmac here in Detroit than we did in flight to Detroit.

I can only say that storm that went through prior must have been a mammoth one, because it certainly caused a cluster. Once I got inside, no time for a burger, and there were people at my gate trying desperately to get to Greenville. And then a guy from the supplier I am seeing today showed up. He had been in Detroit since the night before due to storms. It must have been bad if O'hare looked better.

Not sure where we are at with the house. Haven't been there since Saturday. But my realtor got home from vacation last night so I am certain he will go out to the site today and I will get a report.

Thats all for this morning. Dolce Beijos.

Ancient Paths

2007-06-18T00:52:00.001-05:00

So I went to this seminar in Pawnee, IL this past weekend called Ancient Paths. I had read the book, it was recommended to me by a friend. I didn't read it right away. I was still in school when I got it. But one day I read the bio of the author and realized he got his MBA from UChicago and being the MBA snob I've become I thought well he must know his stuff. (Granted not really an MBA snob well at least I hope not. I was impressed with the credentials though). The book is great and explained a lot about my family dynamics and helped me understand my brother more too. The seminar helped me a lot when it came to my relationship with my dad. Can't say I agreed with everything but I was definitely intrigued by everything.

While I was in Springfield, I went on a tour of the Frank Lloyd Wright house there. AMAZING! The man was pure genius. I decided while there my next vacation will include a stop at Falling Waters.

Craig Hill, the author of Ancient Paths, also has a program on finances which the premise I found interesting. To live completely debt free. He states that if you follow his program that anyone can be completely debt free within 10 years (this includes your house mortgage!) I'm quite curious about this as I am able to sign away a huge portion of my future earnings into this house I am building. And let's not forgot the student loans incurred by my fabulous time spent at Gleacher Center. I'll be sure to post what I find out about this as I investigate it further. I know some of my friends have or are in process of getting to this point...Kudos to them. I want to get there too.

Anything but the same old, same old

2007-06-18T00:29:00.000-05:00

Let's start with the house. I drove by the land on my way home from Springfield, IL on Saturday night. Hole has been dug, footings are done, gravel in the bottom, and even a couple walls were poured. I was shocked at how much they had done. And as anticipated there was a Case on one side and a CAT on the other side of the hole. I called and left a message for my realtor trying hard not to laugh as I asked him if they couldn't have found someone that used Deere equipment....hello? I have pics but I don't know how to get them off my phone yet.

AJ, I do remember the time it was pouring, because I remember I was soaked to the bone in a most unfortunate shirt. I think I glowed red for the first ten minutes of the movie. I miss the buffalo wings from the Irish Pub. I went through there a couple of years ago with some colleagues and we stopped there, it wasn't the same place anymore and the wings weren't nearly as good.

I was at a supplier in Mayville that week I called you about Michael's and the president of the company was telling about his son going to Madison now. Said he had just turned 21 and his son had gone to Nitty Gritty for his birthday. My eyes just lit up and I said all excited "Its been over 10 years and I still have my Nitty Gritty Birthday Mug!" I bet Aileen still has hers too.

Speaking of birthdays since mine in coming up....Aileen remember you and I going out to celebrate my 22nd at the Big Ten Pub? I drove by your old apartment on my last trip through Madison. I forgot to tell you about that on the phone today. And I drove by the old place on Walnut that I shared with Heidi and Jen. LOL I wonder where those two are now.

I'm all over the place tonight in thought but I can't sleep. I should go try again. Night all!

Dolce Beijos.

Its a BIG day....BIG BIG day!!

2007-06-14T06:06:00.000-05:00

Alright, so I am moving. The song Boston comes to mind every time I say that. Relocation has been a major pain you know where!! I must have looked at 100 houses and couldn't find what I want. There is a very good chance that one day I am going to have my parents move in with me so that I can help care for them, so some things were just not negotiable in necessity. (Though there is a part of me trying very hard not to rethink that after my dad's moronic outburst at me earlier this week when he made me feel about 2 inches tall. He is completely unaware of what I was doing in buying a house and will remain that way. Anyway, I felt 2 inches tall until I got off the phone and had a little verbal therapy of my own.) I digress in parentheses which somehow makes it less interruptive. I made an offer on a house one night. A house I was completely settling for, the offer went out and I got so sick to my stomach. I seriously thought I would vomit on my favorite realtor! The offer wasn't accepted, the guy came back at full price and I said, "uh, no. I'm going to build. Set up a meeting with the builders next week, I'm building."

Today is a very BIG day! They break ground today! You can't see me dancing but trust me I am. I unfortunately can't be there. So no pictures of it I believe which is probably good. I don't know if they will be using Deere equipment or not, and having a picture with a piece of crap CAT in it would be BAD!

Adam! It has been good talking with you too. FOD was something cheesecake. I got chocolate! Directions were great. Thanks so much! I got to explain to my colleague Spontaneous Movie Nights. I miss those, I don't have a Spontaneous Movie Night person in my life anymore.

I'd write more but I have to hit the shower or I will be late for work!

WHERE ARE YOU OH TP???

2007-05-05T23:21:00.000-05:00

An inquiry from my bff, Trebs, gets to be the title of this post.

I am splitting my time between home and my soon to be new home. I got promoted at work. And although I didn't have to relocate I was given the option and took it because CHANGE IS GOOD!!!

So I am busting my booty trying to get my house ready to go on the market. Two and a half years in school left no dent in the to do list, and made it extremely LONG! I kinda wish I was renting at the moment.

House hunting is as much a nightmare this time around as it was last time around. I actually found a home I love....but it is the most expensive house in a 2 block radius (not good for home value over time) and the current owners had a wall paper fetish from the earlier 90's. Every vertical surface in the entire house has wall paper on it. And all of it is maroon, navy and hunter. I don't have a single piece of furniture that would look good in it. It had a pool which for some would be a good thing..not so much for me because I could just see Sassy doing to the pool what she does to a filled bathtub, losing her balance, falling in, drowning, and me living with the guilt of putting her in a house that was clearly unsafe for her.

I thought about building but the timing of building is utterly impossible with the relocation package I have through work.

I don't know how I ever had time to go to school! I'm over feeling weird about being graduated. I've stopped having panic attacks on Sunday morning thinking my weekend is already over and that I'm late for work.

So my new boss....rocks!!! This is the first boss I've had in four years that was smarter than me. I am aware that sounds arrogant but seriously if you met the string of bosses I had you would understand. The new boss is not only smarter than me, he is more sarcastic than me, funnier than me, and he totally gets me. I can't begin to tell you what a relief that is. I'm a bit of an odd duck. It takes a special person to get me. Leeners gets me and she has put up with me for like 15 years....she gets props for that!!!!!

Well I'm tired, need to catch some zzzz's. I'm old!

Trip to Conneticut

2007-04-04T06:10:00.000-05:00

I went on a supplier visit in Conneticut the last two days. Here is what I learned about Conneticut since it was my first visit that I recall anyway...

1) People who live in Conneticut LOVE donuts! How do I know this...there are Dunkin' Donuts everywhere like there are Walgreens in the Midwest. They have to love donuts or they wouldn't all still be in business and some of them aren't even a quarter mile away from each other.

2) If you find yourself in Milford, CT, you have to eat at this great little restuarant called Scribners in Woodmont which is right next to Milford. http://www.scribnersrestaurant.com/ They don't open til 5, so go for a walk along the shore (only a few blocks away) first, you need to work up an appetite for this place. Everything was wonderful!

3) The architechure of Yale is definitely worth the detour off the highway to go see.

4) The neighborhoods not far from Yale -- kinda scary!

5) When in doubt, ask an officer. In New Haven, there is a very hot officer in car 13. He told us not to go down the street in the way we had already gone. But he also gave us directions to State Street to find a place to eat. And surprisingly it wasn't to Dunkin' Donuts. He told us to try an italian place called Portofino! OMG amazing place. If you are at Yale, ya gotta try this place!

6) Seriously, there are a lot of Dunkin' Donuts in CT. I finally told those I was traveling with..."I think there must be crack in the donuts!"

Graduation

2007-03-20T21:49:00.000-05:00

Graduation was last Friday. I got into Chitown on Thursday and did some serious retail therapy. After Wednesday. I had my nails done and my hair highlighted. I'm much blonder than I was before. I checked into the hotel and got to the suite and unpacked a bit before sitting on the couch. When I looked around the beautiful room I was in I started to cry. It was supposed to be my parents' suite. I was supposed to be staying at Jeff's. I was sad my parents weren't there to enjoy a room I had gotten for them and I missed the boys.

Later, Jon arrived in town and came over so we could catch up. He was like a tornado at first but eventually he slowed down. We have more in common than I would have known. It was a good talk.

Graduation is kind of a blur. The day was packed and tiring. I have no idea what the commencement speaker spoke about other then it had to do with Inuits, seal deaths, and civilizations transforming. I was busy looking at the list of graduates thinking we were going to be there all night. The handing out of the degrees only took an hour which it didn't even seem that long. By far the most were from the GSB, and the applause after the last of the GSB'ers got their degree was very long. It was an amazing moment. I managed not to cry. When I got back to my seat with mine, I had it in my lap and the girl next to me opened hers, I oddly hadn't even thought to open mine. How odd is that? When I opened it, I stared at it a long time almost as if under my gaze it might disintegrate.

The blur went by and it was time to proceed out, as I stepped out of the chapel the bagpipes were playing and there was a sea of caps and gowns over the lawn in front of me. Through the sea as if parting his own path came Jeff and I walked down the steps and into his arms. It was a perfect moment! He whispered in my ear how proud of me he was and of course I melted all gooey. Jon snuck up on us and got pictures of us together before I even knew he was there. Soon the three of us made our way over to the B-School building for the reception. I don't think I even tasted the first glass of champagne and it was then I realized I was shaking, I think I was just on complete overload!

Ryan, Dan, Craig, and myself and the families and guests all gathered in one corner and soon Harry was over there as well. Jeff was not going to be able to make dinner but we agreed to meet up later for drinks. The four graduates met up with Francisco while having our picture taken with the big Chicago GSB banner. Francisco and I hugged before we parted and he got all teary which made me all teary (hell I'm all teary just writing it). Promising we would stay in touch when we knew we would see each other on Saturday.

Dinner was fun and after we all went back to the hotel to put kids to bed. Then Jon, Craig, Danny and I met in the hotel bar for drinks. I managed not to cry knowing we wouldn't be doing this again for a while. We discussed how and when we would be getting together. As we were getting tired and things were winding down, I started getting texts from Jeff. They weren't the texts I was expecting and I knew he wasn't doing well. His own personal situation is rather bumpy at the moment and I started getting worried about him. The guys asked me what was up and I looked at Dan who knows the situation and told him that Jeff was drinking alone at PJ's and not doing well. I was trying hard to talk Jeff into joining us so I could gauge how he was in person. I was about to excuse myself to go get a coat from my room and make the run to PJ's when he agreed to come to the hotel.

The guys all retired and I waited for Jeff to arrive. I was about to go meet him in the lobby which is a floor above the bar when he called me and asked where I was and he came out of the elevators behind me. When I turned on the stairs to see him, my heart broke for him because I saw his pain. I knew there was nothing I could say and just stepped back down to him and gave him a hug. I don't even remember what I said to him when the hug broke I just remember the look on his face when he responded and it brought another hug. We went up to the suite and sat and talked. He had brought a gyro with him. For the record I don't like lamb. He made me take a bite of it when I told him I had never had one from the place he got it which I knew was well known for the best gyros in Chicago. What is it about being fed by a hot guy that makes everything taste better!?! Our conversation turned to me and I'm not honestly sure how that happened, but I think it was easier for him than talking about what was going on with him. He broke an internal dam I had built within myself though I'm not sure he is aware he did and since he doesn't read this blog the knowledge remains safe.

Graduation day was a whirlwind of emotions and activities. It was closure and beginnings, happiness and sadness, sweet and scary. It was worth every penny!

Ugh

2007-03-19T20:08:00.000-05:00

I have some checking up to do. Saturday before graduation I picked up Danny and our team mate Francisco from the airport and off we went for oatmeal and practice for our presentation for Schrager the Brilliant! Francisco was the first to the airport beating even me there. He called me as I was trying to sneak out of Jeff's house without waking anyone. I'm standing in the foyer struggling with the bags and my cell phone blares "On Wisconsin". I'm pretty sure I woke the whole house.

When I got to O'hare and Francisco got in the car we talked for a few while waiting for Danny to make it to Chitown. Francisco said, "you know Tammy, we have come full circle. You were the first one I met in our first class and this is our last and you picked me up at the airport." It was sweet and made me teary because it wasn't something I had thought about specifically.

Our presentation went better than I thought it would. I was incredibly nervous because it was Schrager the Brilliant, but the dream team pulled it off.

We went to PJ Clarke's after class for a few drinks. When we arrived Francisco said, "Tammy, did you get my voice mail?" My phone was on silent but looked at it and sure enough it was there. I didn't however check to see how many. (That was a mistake.) After a drink, lots of hugs and smiles, it was time to get Danny back to O'hare. I said good byes and stepped out of the bar while Danny finished saying good bye. That was when I realized there were three voice mails, two from my Dad. On the corner of Columbus and Illinois I found out my mom was back in the hospital. I cried and tried to walk as fast as I could away from the worried Dan. When I let go and tried to tell him I really lost it, I cried, Danny hugged and we walked back to my Jeep. I couldn't imagine where I would find the energy to do this again. I was thinking I was pretty well wore out just from being so close to done with school. And worst yet, this was supposed to be this great week of graduation and partying, and I knew in that moment that my parents would not be at graduation. It sounds selfish, but I didn't want to let that week slip away.

Needless to say I ended up in Omaha. Truly not my favorite place on the planet. But while I was there I have to say thanks to my friends who were there for me even down to the tear filled call from the hospital stairwell.

Things between Dad and I got too strained when I found out what he was blaming on me to defend his actions and I couldn't do anything but sit around in waiting areas and the doctor had cleared me to go to graduation. So I left Omaha and headed to work at not feeling guilty for going to have fun in Chicago.

Bitter Sweet Overwhelm and an E-card

2007-03-04T20:51:00.000-06:00

I am less than two weeks from graduating. I find myself reminiscing most of the 5 hour drive home from Chicago. It makes me laugh and it makes me teary.

On Saturday morning, while Dan and I were doing our Saturday morning ritual of me picking him up at O'hare and having breakfast of oatmeal together at Gleacher, I realized how much I was going to miss having breakfast Saturday mornings with him. We talked about it and how much he appreciated me picking him up at the airport so he didn't have to ride the L.

A week ago we both got stranded in Chicago on Saturday night due to a nasty storm. Bless Tasha and Jeff who on my word let a stranger crash at their house. So both Dan and I stayed there. Luckily Danny got on the first flight out on Sunday and my drive home on Sunday wasn't too bad.

I talked with Ryan on my way home and talked to him about how much I was going to miss seeing them all every weekend, and we both agreed that for a while we would all get readjusted to our normal lives but that we would be working to stay close.

Danny's wife, who I can't wait to meet, asked Dan how he met me. Ryan and I talked about it and we agreed that it was destiny that the group of us have become so close. We believe we would have come together no matter what.

Dan was the first one I met there we connected immediately since we were both former Badgers.
Ryan sat in front of Dan and I during orientation and I remember thinking I want to meet him. He looks really smart.
John I met during the after orientation social.
John, Ryan, Francisco and I all had our first quarter morning class together.
Ryan and Dan were in their afternoon class together.
Dan met Craig both being Badgers connected, and Craig knew Ryan because Ryan's sister works with Craig.
Craig knew Wes another former Badger.

I'm blessed beyond measure to have met these individuals who have all become so close and so important to me.

Tonight, I was working on the marketing plan the project, Dan, Ryan, Francisco and I are working on and I found myself getting teary. This is the last project. This is the last school deadline. Its the last major thing standing between us and graduation. It's ......surreal.

Tonight, I also got an e-card from Leeners...that also made me cry. Not because it was sad, but just because she knew exactly where I was at ...she knew exactly what I was feeling. Thanks, my friend and I'm sorry you can't make graduation but I understand.

I'm overwhelmed beyond belief....

God has a sense of humor or I'm a forgetful idiot

2007-01-30T06:25:00.000-06:00

I got home late Saturday night after getting up at 2 AM to drive into the Chicago for class. It was a long day and I was beat when I got home, so I grabbed my book bag and promptly went inside to find somewhere I could be horizontal.

I went no where on Sunday because it was cold and I wasn't feeling all that great anyway.

After not having a great start for a Monday ...let me rephase, after one of the worst Monday morning starts recorded in history, I actually get ready to leave my house to go to work. I hadn't put the Jeep in the garage so windows had to be scrapped. I got in and looked at the wind shield, and did a double take at the windshield, and took a closer look at the windshield, and my eyes followed a path up to the roof where my eyes widened at what could only be described as what looked like projectile vomit! I flew out of the jeep in fear of what ever it was getting on me and well...feeling like I needed to hurl myself. When I looked at the console and saw the little culprit, I had pulled a diet wild cherry pepsi from the fridge at 3 AM when I left my house on Saturday but had never drank it and more importantly, I had forgotten about it.

I looked at the roof, the dash, the rear view mirror, and thought many expletives normally used to describe Michigan fans. I drove to work without the heat on, because well I didn't want the projectile soda vomit to start melting. I called a few places and found a place that could get her in. So she is being detailed, I have to pick her up this morning.

My Monday, that already started with the worst start in recorded history add in projectile soda vomit, went frankly down hill from there. But at least the projectile soda vomit is amusing, the rest of it wasn't amusing and not really worth listing.

Here's praying for a better Tuesday. I don't hold out much hope though considering I will be sleeping tonight in the booming metropolis of Coffeyville, KS. Seeing the sense of humor yet?

Boston Legal

2007-01-09T21:58:00.000-06:00

First funny moment:
Captain Kirk playing a kazoo shaped like a trumbone, on a stage with a real band like he was the cat's meow!

Moment that nearly made me fall out of my chair:
Denny Crane: I'm a big fan of diversity. I date midgets, you know?

D-Day

2007-01-09T15:10:00.000-06:00

I shouldn't call it D-Day...but...I have to go back to work tomorrow. This is monumental because other than one day in the office, I have been out of the office on business, holiday, vacation, or nasty stomach flu for nearly a month. I know what I have to look forward to as well, a slew of emails, blocked invoices, and engineers who wanted everything the day before I left for Europe a month ago. I like my job, well parts of my job but like any job I'm sure there will always be times while doing some activity I sit and think to myself this is so not why I have spent this much time in school. I wonder if CEO's think that at times too. Oh well, I have hours yet to get laundry and cleaning and homework done so I can go to work with other thoughts out of my head.

My printer is currently working over time in the office printing off a bunch of files because Harry, a classmate and friend, mistakingly picked up my course pack and put it in his bag at the end of class. So he scanned the reading for this week and my poor printer is getting to do the brunt of the work so I can be prepared for a conference call tomorrow evening. I'm just glad he dropped me an email and told me he had it because I was having a bit of a meltdown on Sunday.

I have realized I am the most audibly aroused (keep your mind out of the gutter) person on the planet. On my way to Chicago this week I was listening to Nicholas Sparks' lastest book from my cute little ipod. I get about an hour from O'hare where I am picking up the Dan man. And I am sobbing over the words being piped through my Jeep stereo speakers. The book ends and I stopped to clean up and get so more water, cause I was dehydrated from the crying by this point, kidding! I get back in the car and off to O'hare I head and I turned on Anderson Cooper's book that I have already listened to several times, but I love the man's voice. Even though he is talking about death and destruction, suicide and starvation, there is just something incredibly calming to me about his voice. It would be truly tragic if the rumors are true about him at least for me it would be.

Last but certainly not least:

Fight the team across the field

Show them Ohio's here

(We've got the team why don't we)

Set the Earth reverberating

With a mighty cheerRAH! RAH! RAH!

Hit them hard and see how they fall

Never let that team get the ball

Hail! Hail! The gang's all here

So let's win that old conference now!

(So let's beat that Michigan now!)

(Oh, Ohio! Oh, Ohio! Wahoo! Wahoo for Ohio!)

There is only one word to cover the Buckeye's completely dismal abandonment of No 1. -- Dumbasses! Congratulations to Florida who in true Wisconsin Badger style prove all the sports commentators wrong. Well done!

On a side bar, spell check doesn't seem to be working today, so if I misspelled anything, please do not feel the need to let me know. I will probably notice in a week or two if I happen to go back and read the post.

Nine Years

2007-01-05T21:07:00.000-06:00

So today was a big day - I have been with my current employer for nine years. I think about the last nine years, life has changed a lot. I ended an engagement in moving here to take this job. There is still a slight "what if..." that lingers in my mind at times, but I don't ponder it for long periods of time. I have changed churches several times and changed jobs within this company even more times.

I have things I am proud of and things I'm not proud of but I have learned from.

In three months I will graduate with my MBA. Then what? I am required to stay with my employer unless I plan to fork out a rather large check. Will I get a promotion out of this graduation? No promises no guarantees as I was rather rudely told by a HR person who has the personality of a gnat. Nine months from now, student loans kick in and do I just sit around and wait for the promotion to come? There are many questions that linger in this. And yet at the foundation of it is that my current employer has become a very distinct part of my identity. Some would say it is part of my blood and they would be correct. While a milestone is reached, paths will have to be examined....decisions decisions.

A new year

2007-01-04T17:45:00.000-06:00

It's 2007! The Badgers won the Capital One Bowl and I survived the three hours of Capital One commercials. I spent the New Year with Leener's and the fam. It was a great four days including Rose Bowl Parade floats, catching up on life, spending time with an amazing almost 4 year old, movies, and mani/pedi's. And a chair that I think Leener's would consider making her second husband. ;)

It has been a long time since I have blogged. Noted by a email from AJ. I need to get back on top of this, but many other things took precedent.

Things I would like to not hear in 2007:
1) No more feuding between Rosie and Donald. For the first time in my 35 years of life, I have actually considered getting rid of my TV just so I wouldn't have to listen to them anymore. And another first, because of all this children in the sandbox throwing sand, I will not be tuning into the Apprentice...the putting contestants in tents doesn't appeal to me either.

2) Please no more Paris, Brittany, or any other anerxic alcholics either.

3) No more excuses from my mom about why she can't do the necessary work to heal her body.

My resolutions for 2007:
1) To be more gentle with words.
2) To continue on the paths I started last year.
3) To find joy in each day

Three months to graduation, and many decisions to make before then. I will do my best not to get so wrap up in life that I forget to write here.

A Mish Mash to match Leeners Monster Mash

2006-10-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

Let's start with Gray's:

I love McSteamy! Love him. Addy slaps him and he just grins. And he stuck around.
Izzy and Evil Spawn I believe will get back together.
Meredith is annoying me completely. And if she is pregnant, I may physically vomit.

Let's talk Men in Trees:

My new favorite show.
He is better than McDreamy any day. Just need a Mc Name for him....any suggestion?

Aileen talked about Iowa in her blog:

Gotta say I disagree with you on the Michigan fans being worse that Iowa fans. I think it is pretty much a tie. Who took the Bucky Badger off my desk and put it in a noose and hung it up over my desk at work -- Iowa fans! Let's not give Iowa fans too much credit, my friend. I am surrounded by them...and they suck.

Flirting via text message:

I've been doing a lot of flirting via test message recently. And then the Foley story breaks, granted I am flirting with someone who is of age and someone I take classes with, but I suddenly see a life of political office slipping from my fingers. Bummer. Haha.

Chicago commercial:

There is a commercial in the Chicago area that I saw while in town this weekend. I don't know what this commercial is for, but the guy is talking about being married with three daughters and a female dog and female cats, and that he is swimming in the deep end of the estrogen pool. This cracked me up and made me think of my friend Dan who I was picking up at the airport on Saturday morning and told him about this commercial. He laughed and said I think I dived head first into the deep end of the estrogen pool. I have the Christmas picture of his three daughters from last year....Beautiful girls....estrogen pool or not, he did good!

I'm out for tonight, gotta pack for a business trip. Later all! Dolce Beijos!

Political Season

2006-10-05T20:51:00.000-05:00

Come November, we have to vote for a new governor here in corn country. As you can imagine every other commercial on TV is a political advertisement. Which for the very few hours a week I watch TV it is tolerable.

Tonight while watching Grey's Anatomy, I heard a statistic that I find almost laughable. They state that 80% of meth in this fine state comes from Mexico and that little stat is their justification for immigration laws. Not the fact that it is illegal to come waltzing into any country without checking in and in some cases having your picture taken, and fingerprint filed. Yes, I know this from experience. However, I'd rather deal with the little drug stat.

Let's blame the meth problem on the Mexicans, not on the fact that we have a lot of bored people in this state with nothing better to do with their time than to play with a little chemistry set. Until a law was passed about a year and a half ago that requires me to sign away my first child several times in order to get cold and allergy medicine, there was at least one news story a week about some moron who blew up his/her house with the meth lab in the basement.

If 80% of meth in this state is brought in from Mexico, it is only because their is legislation now to protect people from their own stupidity. Unfortunately, I firmly believe those morons are also smart enough, and determined enough to find a way around the law which makes my life more difficult at a time when I would like things to be easier since I am the first to admit, I'm a bitchy sick person.

Occupational Laughter

2006-10-02T19:29:00.000-05:00

I work in Dilbert cube hell. So I get the great honor of hearing my co-workers all day as they do too get the pleasure of listening to me all day. We even have a woman in the next aisle that suddenly and when you don't even know she is there or listening will give her two cents into our conversations, usually causing irritation. Today though catching a portion brought humor to us all.

Coworker 1 (female) says to coworker 2 (male): What's your wife's name?
Coworker 2: Her name is ___
Coworker 1: Well then who is ___ (a name not his wife's)?
This brought a chorus of laughter from the rest of us.
Coworker 2: Are you insinuating I have a girlfriend? (in a completely joking non defensive tone)
This brought more laughter, and poor coworker 1 was left stammering about what she meant.

Within 10 seconds of conversation being worked out and finished.
Coworker 2 says to Coworker 1: Hey, how are ya doing with that little stud of yours?
Causing me to nearly spray my computer with diet soda. The little stud was actually a part which I knew but come on, how can one not find that funny after the prior lead in?

I hope this isn't one of those stories you had to be there, because I'm still grinning over it.

Miscellania

2006-10-01T20:38:00.000-05:00

If you are a fan of Grey's and haven't watched Men in Trees, I highly recommend it. I can't watch it when it is on, because I am busy on Friday nights, but I DVR it and watch it on Sunday mornings. Its my reward for another week of school survived.
I've been picking up Dan at O'hare on Saturday mornings. I gets me up and going and I enjoy his company on the drive into downtown. However, I miss the wake up call from my favorite little men. This week I got a voice mail message during first break. Little voices saying "Hi Miss Tammy, we came down to wake you up and you were already gone. Have fun at school and study hard." It put the biggest smile on my face for the rest of the day!
Sorry Leeners...I like Finn. Bad movie past or not, I like Finn, though I know she will not pick him. I hadn't heard that McSteamy had signed for the rest of the season that is truly awesome news! I like him too!
First full week back on WW is almost over. the first few days were pretty easy, the weekend has been more difficult. Especially yesterday having lunch with the guys, and seeing their burgers, while I was eating salmon and veggies.

Posing a question?

2006-09-29T12:00:00.000-05:00

Let's talk Grey's Anatomy...

So I loved the episode last night...I love the fact the characters are flawed. God knows I am so I can relate to these people.

Izzy baking like a mad woman made my heart go out to her, but I completely understood since when I'm upset I clean like a loon. Thus a couple of nights ago, I was up cleaning until 3 am.

Bailey was awesome and how they had her come around to the epiphany was brilliant.

Christina and the in-law mother - OMG BEEN THERE! Paul's mom hated me.

Merideth - she may become annoying with this.

Addy rocked last night. But seriously...when do you think she called McSteamy. Its a three - four hour flight at least from New York to Seattle plus being there two hours ahead of departure time. She had to know through much of her drunk time that he was on his way...for what had to be mind blowing sex...because well, he's McSteamy.

McDreamy - now here is where the question was posed to me this morning, but will get to that in a moment. I was a little annoyed with McDreamy last night. But actually my annoyance came at the end of last season when she screwed Merideth in the hospital while at prom with his wife. And yes for those that don't watch the show I'm aware of how absurd that sentence sounded. McDreamy is a bit of a McJerk, even if he is flawed and confused.

So the question was posed to me at my desk this morning by JP the elder, why are all the women fawning over McDreamy?

I'm not...I like McSteamy better, though I still have affection for McDreamy. But last night when he said, "well, I feel better." I thought what a jerk, great ending but what a jerk.

I'm not married, so maybe Aileen needs to chime in on this point. But if I were in Addy's shoes, I probably would have done the same thing. She knew McSteamy loved her. She was broken hearted, I'd probably turn to him too. I think if I were trying to work on my marriage and then I found out my husband went back to his girlfriend and he let me find out in such a cruel way, I think I would have gone back to my dirty mistress too.

So during Season 2, McSteamy said to Merideth "What if just this once, the dirty mistresses win." They did!

It makes for great TV, but it is curious why we still love McDreamy?

new format

2006-09-28T07:36:00.000-05:00

In honor of my favorite season of the year, I changed up the blog....however I lost all my links to other blogs. Now I have work to do later. But tonight is Grey's Anatomy and I have to finish reading for this week's classes...fun fun...

Aileen - if you have time call me while I'm on the road this week. I miss ya!

What is wrong with parents these days!

2006-09-18T22:57:00.000-05:00

Remember hearing your parents saying a version of this while we were going up? What is wrong with kids these days, followed by a list of all the things we were doing wrong.

What does every kid need from a parent? Love for a child is automatic right? That is what most people say about their children. Kids need this...but it isn't the most important thing at least from my perspective. It is necessary due to what it breeds...the emotions that stem from it....

I think kids, no matter the age, need acceptance, understanding, and praise from their parents. My brother doesn't talk to my parents anymore. He may tell me I'm wrong but I think it is because they didn't give him these three things. He may say it is because they kicked him out of the house, but that would just be an extension of the three things above. I'm envious of him sometimes because he got a break...he got away. He doesn't talk to me much anymore. I have taken mom and dad's side....I didn't. I just tried to survive. I couldn't even drive when he left home. My big brother seven years older than me had always been my hero. And over the next few years, lines would be drawn on an invisible battleground because of our parents.

I learned from him though. I went away from college. I didn't stay at home, because I knew I would not survive like he didn't. Trying to spread wings, trying to be independent within the confines of another adult's house, doesn't work. I learned that the hard way by watching him. He doesn't know how painful it was to watch my family ripped apart.

We moved a lot after he was out of the house. There wasn't much fun about growing up in the house after that. There was always a cloud - a fog. I did my best to survive and tread lightly.

His grief came from my mom. Mine comes from my dad. What do little girls do when they aren't the apple of their daddy's eye? I have spent years trying to please him. I have focused so much energy on it sometimes it sickens me.

Before I went to work for JD, things were fine. I hadn't succeeded in pleasing him but I was on the right path. But about the time things started going well for me, things stopped going so well for him. I had to stop telling him about promotions or raises, because it would make me feel guilty or make me cry when he wasn't proud of me. I knew he was frustrated with his own career derailment, so I stopped sharing those things with him.

When I got into Chicago GSB, I thought he would be proud. He seemed like it at first, until he started saying things like, "I'm surprised you got in", "I didn't think you would get in.", or my personal favorite, "You probably got in because of who you work for."

One or two of these things you can blow off, they build up in a little girl's mind, even if she is 35. Since mom has been in the hospital, I think he has all these emotions built up inside and they keep seeping out as daggers aimed at me. He has told me that I am mean, harsh, and other things I can't even bear to put into writing.

I got a really horrid score on my corporate finance midterm that I took a week after my mom went into the hospital. I hadn't studied, I was a little preoccupied. I knew that if I didn't ace the final there was a really good chance I was not going to pass the class. The final was a massacre. Really smart guys were saying, "I'm not sure why I sat there that long." I prepared myself to fail the class. Prepare for the worst expect the best mind set. Even told my dad there was a chance I failed the class. That was my mistake to say that to him. Since I got my grade, which turned out to be a C. A grade I am damn proud of to be honest even if it does suck. Now he says things to me like, "The professor knew what was going on with your mother and probably just gave you the grade.", "He (the prof) was just being nice." or again my personal favorite, "I'd still like to know what kind of deal you made with that professor that got you a C." I almost told him that I had slept with the prof just for the sheer shock value of it. For the record, I didn't sleep with the prof. I did however, study my booty off for that final.

I was supposed to go see my parents this last weekend because it was my last weekend before classes start again. I was going to go Saturday morning and return on Sunday. Dad threw that last zinger in there on Friday night. Maybe I was having an emotional day, maybe it was just the straw that broke the camel's back, but I ended up in tears. This wasn't the first time he had broke me down to tears on this subject. And it wasn't that he didn't know he had me in tears the first time.

I didn't go see my parents this past weekend. I stayed at home, in the safety of a house that they can't kick me out of, where I could quietly lick my wounds from years of being the only punching bag available.

A daughter needs for her dad to believe in her. To think that every accomplishment big or small is amazing. To love her despite her imperfections. To always stand by her....to be in her cheering section.

During the month of July, my friends would laugh when I said God hated me as I pointed out all the signs of Murphy in my life. They would tell me from what they knew they were certain that wasn't true. Those weren't the real reason I thought God hated me...my empty cheering section is the reason I think God hates me.

I don't want to diminish the fact that I have amazing and wonderful friends who definitely cheer me on. Its just that inside this 35 year old, there's still a little girl...who is exhausted from trying to keep her family together for the last 21 years.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm not asking for pity. I'm just wondering when the bell is going to ring, and we get to go back to our corners, or when the ref is going to call the knock out official. Because I still feel like I am struggling to get off the mat from Friday night's blow.

Snippets from this weekend in Chicago and exam preparation!

2006-08-21T10:11:00.000-05:00

Snippet 1
J: No man gets married willingly!
Me: You know I am frightened that I am friends with you.
J: It's true, ask any man in here. Men are tricked, guilted, and trapped into marriage; they don't get married willingly.
Me: Ask him, he's married. (pointing to the innocent bysitter(IB) to the conversation)
IB: (with smirk on his face) I am not getting into this conversation.
Me: Now there is a smart man!
J: Look at him smirking, you know he agrees with me.
Me: (deep groan!)

Snippet 2

(First to set the stage, the air show was in Chicago last weekend. And I have an overwhelming fear that one day the Sears Tower will come down as the WTC did.)

Walking out of Gleacher Center with J:
(Loud sound of aircraft flying low and close and reverberating off downtown buildings)
Me (thought): No Not while I am actually here!
J: Cool, the air show!
Me: (sigh of relief) That is not the sound you want to hear coming out of class.
J: Yeah it is.
Me: Not after 9-11
J: Yeah it is, that noise means they are blowing the bastards out of the sky.
(Blue Angels scream by a second time stopping us dead in our tracks to watch)
Me: (laughs)
J: I love this country!
Me: Why?
J: Because only in this country can a guy have breakfast in Missouri, jump in his aircraft, fly to Iraq, where some ***hole sits on his camel with a rifle saying I hate Americans, only to hear that sound you just heard right before he gets blown up, and our guy is still home in time to nail his girlfriend.
Me: (laughs) so true.

Back home, Monday night cell phone rings, caller ID says J:

J: OMG, Tammy! (sounding totally out of breathe and in a panic!)
Me: What's wrong, hon?
J: I went to Balki's class just now thinking it was the last class since I missed class on Saturday morning.
Me: Yeah, why aren't you still in class?
J: I got the hand out and waited for class to start. Balki stands up and says ok, you can start the exam. Tammy, it was the F***ing Final!
Me: (holding back laughter)
J: I went up to Balki and said I need to see you outside now. (out in the hall) Professor Balki, I thought this was the last class. I miss class on Saturday. I can't answer these questions. I swear I didn't look at the exam.
PB: (LAUGHS) I'll see you Saturday for the exam.
J: (still out of breathe and panicked mumbling incoherently)
Me: (laughing now) ok, its all right. take a deep breathe.
J: I need to go get a beer.
Me: good idea, I'll call ya later.

Text Messages later in the night:
Me to J: Are you breathing again?
J to Me: My heart just finally slowed down.
Me to J: Good, I'm working on the review questions.
J to Me: F*** it, I don't care anymore.
Me to J: Awww hon, get a good nights sleep and hit the ground running tomorrow.

Text Messages Tuesday Night:
J to Me: This sample exam is ridiculous!
Me to J: I know.
J to Me: I'm scared.
Me to J: Me too.
J to Me: Want to talk tomorrow night?
Me to J: Yes.

We didn't talk til Friday night:
We are both f***ed!

Plausible conclusions of the overly stressed

2006-08-15T01:26:00.000-05:00

Murphy (of Murphy's law fame) has moved into my home!

Evidence:
1. My mom had a serious of TIA's landing her in the hospital in early July.
2. This lead to several driving and flying trips to between three cities (Omaha, Chicago, and home) Cost: Nearly a grand.
3. The Jeep had to have the evaporator core replaced, and a new muffler. Cost: nearly a grand.
4. The Jeep broke down again within a week of the first repair. Cost: $185
5. Cat had nasty growth on chin. Turns out to be Cat Acne! Cost $125
6. Due to the hospitalize above, was not prepared for Corporate Finance midterm. Bombed it. Median for the exam was 54. My score....not even in the underside vicinity.
7. Minor infestation of fleas in cats. Lead to minor infestation in the house due to lack of attendance in house from being in other two cities mentioned above. Cost: TBD
8. Staying at Dad's house, the landlord hadn't cut the grass. Took dog for walk in long grass. What did I get out of it? Chigger bites!
9. Arriving home early one morning from one of the cities listed above, early meaning 2 AM. Find a cat missing from my home. My favored cat to be exact. After intense search of the house with fear of finding furry creature curled up in corner not breathing, an intense search outside next, with no sign of cat. After meltdown, sleep and second search still yielded no cat. Another meltdown and more sleep another search, still no cat. 7 AM....missing cat emerges from thoroughly searched garage, much to the dismay, outrage, and relief of owner.

I need an exorcist to come get Murphy out of my house. The thread long gone, and the rubber band is stretched too tight and I'm running out of office supply analogies for my mental health.

So we are adults...when did that happen? How do we get it to stop?

Ch..Ch...Ch..Changes...

2006-08-06T18:36:00.000-05:00

It has been a while since I posted. There have been numerous reasons behind my absence. I have been swamped for one. Spreading my time between three cities, and balancing work, school, family, and the seemingly endless lines of errors that pop up in my margin for errorless life. The most important reason was that I just didn't have any pleasant or fun things to blog about. Dealing with sick parents although likely something all must face at one point or another, is nothing glamorous or humorous even if humor can sometimes be found it isn't the type one shares with others.

Understanding Found

I dated a person for a while and after it was over I couldn't understand why God had made our paths cross. Even though I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason I didn't understand this one person that treaded so destructively on my heart and what his true purpose was. He has been out of my life for three years. It took three years to find the answer... It was about who he would introduce me to. For they have become extremely important in my life and I hope they will remain for far longer than the one I dated, actually I not only hope for it, I know they will.

Improvements Made

Today was the first day I had seen my mom in almost two weeks. She has been in rehab during this time. I went to see her today with some trepidation. The last time I went to see her after listening to my dad say things were ok or improved, I was shocked at the state of the situation. Today I was pleasantly surprised. She can eat without assistance, when she wants to. She doesn't always want to eat but she can do it. She couldn't when I left. She moves much more than she did before. She will move her feet around while she is sitting and move her arms around. I have been told she will stand with some assistance but she is doing more and more of it herself. And I believe we will see her taking steps in the next few weeks. Things are not as bleak as they were when I left.

Priorities Shift

I have always considered myself a loner. I have great friends. I have always kept the circle small and refined. That has changed, and I have seen what an asset I have in the friends I have in the inner circle and opened the circle to many more. I have been quite blessed to be surrounded by incredible people at work, school, in personal settings, and through networks of those.

Work though still important to me, in a three week period of time, stopped defining me. I love my company, they have been incredible to me and providing me with contacts that have significantly impacted my life such as D squared. I connected my work and company too closely to my identity. That is no longer the case.

Between watching the health issues with my mom and years of conversations with Aileen, my own health has become a priority like never before. In the last five months I have lost 25 pounds. Inspired by Aileen, I rejoined the gym last week. I have refocused on this because I never want to be in a hospital thinking I might have prevented it by just using common sense.

I am burned out on school. Two years into the program, I have two quarters and three weeks to go and I tired. I have never been so glad in my life that I have done something. This accomplishment will be sweet. To finish the program and get the sheepskin will be amazing, but none of that compares to the group of people that have touched my life through this program. A list far to long to write here, but one that I will pray for regularly and that I will smile while they accomplish great things and make simply amazing lives for themselves and their families.

Speaking of families, I've found I'm ready. Ready to settle down. Ready to commit. Ready to find the one. Ready in a way I have never felt before in my life. This doesn't mean I am desperate. Nor does it mean I am hunting the one down. I'm just open to it like I haven't been for a very long time.

Life is Short

2006-07-20T21:12:00.000-05:00

How many times have we all been told this? In the past two weeks it has become my reality. You see, my mom who has spent these two weeks in the hospital and has become nearly like a 5 year old is actually 67 years old. If I have a stroke at 67 like she did (which I don't plan on doing but if it happens....), I'm 35, which means I'm already half way done! What a freaking call to reality that thought is.

What was amazing is while back at work today, a woman who makes me absolutely crazy normally, we will call her Ben, sent me an email nosing around in my work that she knows how to do soooo much better than I do. Normally this would send me into a tizzy. Today, while taking calls from my dad throughout the day in order to handle things with my mom, that email didn't phase me in the slightest. I had bigger fish to fry. This woman's effect on the larger picture of my life is minimal. This thing with mom just brought the world into perspective. I'm a lot more than what I do.

I have amazing group of friends that I absolutely adore. And any of you that I haven't said this too recently, I love each and every one of you.

Well back to the books for me. I have a midterm on Saturday. After class on Saturday, I'm driving back to Omaha to spend a few days before returning back home.

At a loss

2006-07-16T17:19:00.000-05:00

I have had one hell of a week. I don't even know where to begin. I could discuss the horrible customer service of United Airlines, but I'm at my destination now and that doesn't seem to matter to me anymore. I could discuss my absent mindedness and my inability to concentrate on anything of real substance. Or I could talk about how infuriated I am at my mom right now, who for the most part is a vegetable in a bed now, except for a few moments where the woman seems to come out of it.

Things aren't good. I don't see much improvement and from my understanding through the grapevine since I was in class when it happened, she has been turned down by one rehab center already because of her showing a lack of desire to get better. My dad hasn't told me of this yet. Honestly, I don't expect him too because I think he blames me because I told them about her 5 year long depression.

I have great and wonderful friends who have been amazingly supportive through this. I have sat here and gone through my contacts list on my phone several times thinking I need to talk to someone about this, a list that includes Ryan who left me a voice mail just a few hours ago. I don't know who to call. I don't know what I would say. I'm just at a loss for words at this point. I'm angry and frustrated and there is no one I wish to yell at and no way I know of to get this off my chest. So what does one do?

They are going to put her in a nursing home and she will rot for how ever many years she lives if she doesn't show a desire to get well. The only thing this will accomplish is to weaken my dad and his spirits. How do you be supportive through this? How do you allow him to make decisions that will do harm to him?

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just at a loss.

Miscalculations on that thread

2006-07-07T22:15:00.000-05:00

First, I must acknowledge the fact that JP, the elder, wrote a comment in my blog. I was pleasantly surprised. And mildly shocked that it didn't include a reference to the explanation he has been trying to get out of me for a couple of weeks now. ;o)

Second, have to give more props to Aileen's email that has been reread several times now.

Third, a small bit of advice to add to those who wish to dare to stretch their thread of sanity to the brink of insanity as I have. Make sure you calculate for the unexpected log added to the fire! My mom was put in the hospital today. I didn't have room for that miscalculation. I trying to find more thread even as I type.....I have seven more weeks within which I have to continue to avoid the complete mental breakdown that looms in my path. More on mom tomorrow. Right now there is a spreadsheet, and a case demanding attention so that I am prepared for class tomorrow.

It must be the weepy day of the month! WTH!

2006-07-06T22:11:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think God is looking down on me looking for opportunities for payback because I'm such a pain in the butt. I'm on my way home from Target which though was a needed trip could have waited til morning but I was avoiding homework. I get all my stuff, and head out. I get going and I feel like I'm in that commercial for satellite radio, I can't remember whether it was for XM or Sirius, but where you begin to feel like they are watching you because they know exactly what to play. I have been missing Rob this week probably because of the 4th and I was thinking about him a lot because of the holiday. Anyway, before he left for Iraq the first time I sent him a song to remind him of me. I avoid hearing that song at all costs because it makes me sad. Two notes of the song, not even so much as a word hit the speakers and I'm crying, out right, no way to say it was something in my eye crying.

I pull myself together and I come online. I got an email from Aileen that made me laugh and feel a lot better about a situation, and then I read her blog. I haven't had the TV on in probably a week except to watch Big Brother tonight. And her blog tells me that Steve Yzerman retired!!! I'm crying again. Steve Yzerman was like a hero to every hockey fan that grew up in Detroit. I'm so sad. Ok, yeah, he had a 22 year long career, we all knew it was coming, but but but...seriously, I cried when he won the Stanley Cup the first time. To see him lift it over his head still gives me chills to this day when I see it! Hockey will never be the same! Thanks for the memories, Steve! I'm going to dig out my Stevie Y jersey to wear to bed...

How did you spend your summer vacation?

2006-07-06T09:40:00.000-05:00

I have taken the entire week off as it only required three vacation days for me to get the week off. I must admit with the looming departure for Chicago tomorrow it doesn't feel much like a week off. Three classes has me sleeping less and less, good news, after this weekend it is only 7 more weeks of my life. Yesterday, I spent a majority of the day staining the decks. One is done, the other is only partially done and it is the larger of the two. Unfortunately, today I have to finish up preparing for class and doing laundry so at this point it will have to wait for Sunday. I think it will be an after work activity for the coming week. I'm also getting my hair cut today, and I have to get the oil changed in the Jeep. Putting 500+ miles on a week with the Chicago trip deems frequent oil changes and I have missed one during the hecticness of it all.

See how boring my life is? On the best note though, I'm down 20 pounds. I'm taking the slow and steady road this time and really making changes. It feels pretty good to have finally found my own path.

I'm proud to be an American

2006-07-04T23:23:00.000-05:00

Ok, so every blogger in the US probably used that title today, but it fits. I LOVE the 4th of July. I always have except that one year I had the freak accident and a firecracker went off in my ear. LONG Story.

When I was a kid, most of the time we would spend 4th of July at my Grandparents house in Sioux Falls, SD. I loved my grandparents. My grandfather was every bit the Sioux Indian. He was dark and handsome. I remember him being so tall. But he was a gentle giant in my eyes and he loved me to pieces. He had the nose and the forehead and when he grew older he had this salt and pepper hair that made him look so distinguished. My mom would tell me stories about him from when she was a child, and I swear she described a different man. To this day, even if my version is tainted through the eyes of a child, I like my version better. My grandmother was spunky to the day she died at 91 years old. She would say "Tammy, don't let them pressure you into getting married. You have all kinds of time for that." I miss her. She hasn't been gone as long as my granddad who died while I was in college. Grandma only died a few years ago. I was the last one that got to take her out to eat. I know that sounds silly. I woke up one Friday morning and I was just pressed, it was just so heavy on me to go see her. I took a half day that Friday and I drove the six hours to go see her. I was last one to take her out to a restaurant to eat. She went down hill after that weekend and she was gone six months later. I didn't see her again after that weekend. As selfish as this sounds, I wanted to remember her the way I knew her.

The other great thing about spending 4th of July in Sioux Falls was spending it with my cousins. I loved seeing my cousins. I only usually got to see them once a year and I cherished every moment. From pillow fights in grandma's basement to fireworks at Aunt Linda's house, to talking about life (the grand lives we had back then) while waiting for Clark to hide.

I have very fond memories of the 4th's from my childhood. As we grew, we stopped going that week every year. I wish we hadn't stopped that tradition.

Today was a good 4th of July. The fireworks by the UniDome were very good this year and spending it with friends was good. I needed the time away from the books and the to do list. If only there were a few more hours in each day.

Tonight, I thought a lot about Rob and the sacrifices he has made for his country. He spent his 4th in Egypt. At least I think that is where he is still at. Rob, if you are still reading this...Thank you for all you are doing and everything you have put on hold so that those of us here can enjoy our 4th without threat or fear of losing what has made this country so great.

Towers and Views

2006-07-01T03:04:00.000-05:00

Last week Friday, while I was driving into Chicago, I was listening to CNN on satellite radio (how did I ever live without XM radio?). They were interviewing the sister of one of the men that was arrested for the Sears Tower conspiracy. First, seriously where do they find these people? This poor woman furthered the cause of every stereotype possibly given of her particular background. That is about as politically correct as I can say it. And it was obvious the woman was trying so hard. I really wanted to beat Lou Dobbs over the head. Until I reached the place on the Kennedy Expressway, where you come up over a slight rise and there is the Hancock Tower and the Sears Tower. I imagined what the skyline would look like without the Sears Tower and I found myself getting really angry inside. I have been coming to Chicago every weekend for almost two years. This has become my adopted city. The thought of something happening here and worse something happening to the people of Chicago had me twisted in a knot. All of the compassion I had for this woman drained out of me at the sight of this tower that most Saturday mornings before 9 AM I can't see the top of as it tickles the clouds. Suddenly I just wanted this woman's brother to pay for even considering for a second doing one thing to my city. Even tonight as I drove in, seeing the Tower had the same effect on me.

I found another thing Leeners and I disagree on. I like Star Jones. I find her to be well spoken, intelligent, and real. What happened with Barbara Walters and ABC still has me a bit perplexed. If they said she could handle it any way she wanted, why did they have such a fit about her just telling the truth? She took the most courageous path. She admitted to the world that she was fired. She could have made up a story like they seemed to want her to, but she chose to tell the truth, which wasn't pretty. I was fired once. And never in a million years would I have gone back in there for two months after being told I was fired to work every day like everything was fine. For two months, they made her come in and do what they wanted like everything was just fine. But the moment she releases the information that she "felt like she was fired." which "HELLO, ABC - you fired her!, they all run for the hills and say no you can't come back now, you have made it too uncomfortable for us. They made themselves look like they were a bad dog that was running away with his tail between his legs. And the one in my opinion that came out looking the worst in this was Barbara. When she got on the next day and made her speech, in that "I want to help America understand my pain" tone of voice, that I'm sorry came off as nothing but condescending and said that Star chose another path than the dignified one we gave her, I really wanted to vomit. I have a feeling that Star will come out of his smelling like a rose. Every time I have ever known someone to be wrongfully terminated, it turns out to be a inflection point in their life and something amazing happens. As for Rosie joining the View, I think that is laughable. She had a show of her own which I watched for a long time, until she became so harsh with her guests that I couldn't stomach anymore. I think the banter at the beginning of the View will see its last days while Rosie is on the show because unless you agree with her, she just gets nasty. The point of the show at the beginning was to bring people from different viewpoints and perspectives together now everyone involved at the table appears to be from the entertainment industry. I might be from Iowa but I am no hick. And I am nine months away from earning myself a masters degree from a top rated school, but there is no one in the entertainment industry that I honestly think could express my view. The view has only one view now...and its looking through some rosie colored glasses.

The thread gets thinner

2006-06-26T06:48:00.000-05:00

So I drove into Chicago, again with the dulcet tones of Anderson Cooper describe death, destruction and his brother's suicide. The book is sad in a poignant kind of way. Anyway, I left early because to make a 6 PM class on Friday, you guessed it, you have to be in 5 PM downtown Friday night rush hour traffic. So as I am crawling along at 10 MPH, I called Ry who is also taking a Friday evening class. Left him a voice mail and he called me back minutes later, the vibrate in my pocket scared the living crap out of me. I nearly bumped my head on the top of the Jeep. We discuss the insanity of taking a Friday evening class as he is on a train and I am stuck in traffic. I tell him about the thread of sanity I am hanging on to. He asks me what classes I'm taking...I explain the three wonderfully exciting classes I am taking (It is still early in the quarter). To which he busts out laughing and says "You are crazy!" Now I had just told him about my thread, don't call a girl crazy when she only has a thread of sanity. HA!

Friday night class was awesome, I love to negotiate and I had one very cute negotiation partner for the role play. On to Saturday, I spend the day with J who came in just a LITTLE hungover from being at the Sox game the night before. It was a beautiful night not to be in class but to be at the Sox game. Now I will admit, I have a tiny miniscule crush on J. He is a lawyer, getting his MBA. Well spoken, intelligent, quick witted. He has a girlfriend. So it remains a tiny crush. I'm so tired I am writing in fragments! I only point that out because I know that Leeners was thinking it. I digress. Lunch was at Billy Goats. Back to class. After nine hours of classes, I was shot. I think my brain shut down at 35 minutes to 4PM (the end of class). It packed up its books and headed for the Jeep long before my body did.

After class, I met Ry in the lobby for a quick chat. He says you looked wiped out. To which I respond, three classes is a LOT. He asks if I am going to make it through the quarter. I said Sure it is only 10....9 more weeks of my life now.

I am graduating in March. I am graduating in March! 9 weeks, 2 classes in the fall, 2 classes in the winter, and I graduate!!!!! I just have to hang on to that thread a little longer!

The birthday....ehhh. It was. I'm going to stop celebrating them. Instead of being time to celebrate, they have become a reminder of how far behind the plan I am.

Surprise!

2006-06-23T09:55:00.000-05:00

The Leeners had told me to expect a package. You see my birthday is coming up...SHHHHH!!!!When the box arrived, I was like a child on Christmas Morning. You see, my dear friend Leeners, picks out the best gifts ever! I wish I had the ability to pick the perfect gift every time the way she does. She didn't disappoint this time either....I get to ride to Chicago with the sweet sound of Anderson Cooper's voice reading me his book. I can't wait. Thank you A!!!! Thank you Thank you!!

Brittany vs. Angelina

2006-06-20T07:10:00.000-05:00

An odd match up you say? Well, Brittany was interviewed by Matt Lauer last week, in what I can only call the worst botch job of how to handle publicity I've seen in years. And tonight, Angelina will be interviewed by Anderson Cooper, ahhh, The Coop, and will show us all how it is done.

Brittany either needs to fire her people, or her people need to quit over the fact she didn't listen to them. Let's break it down:

If you want sympathy, don't dress like a that. You get to show a little leg or you get to show a little breast. But your breasts do not get to look like they are about to flop out and say hi at any minute.
Brittany is not uncomfortable with her pregnant body as evidenced by the bikini clad shots of her at the beach splashed everywhere. So what the hell was with her posture? If you want to go for the I'm protecting my unborn baby look, try a black shirt that covers your chest and sit up straight!
If you are going to cry, (can you hear me groaning?) do it gracefully. A few tears shown for the cameras and you sweetly ask Matt for a minute and you step off camera. Don't blubber for the public, its a very presumptious to think that the public cares that much.
If you want to discuss the strength of your marriage, the main statement everyone takes away should not be, He's a man, its hard for him to deal with my millions.
The issue of Sean Preston sitting on your lap while driving, your first story was good, I was scared, there were cameramen everyone...the "I did that with my grandpa ...its what we do, we're country." OH who let her go there????
If you want the housewives of American to identify with you, don't talk about the woman that comes in once a week because your house is just too big for you to clean by yourself. Most housewives of America just rolled their eyes at you.
And lastly someone please fire the idiot who did her makeup and made her look like a french whore, which actually did match the getup she was wearing.

Jolie was interviewed during her pregnancy by Diane Sawyer. She was dressed well, the obviously told the cameraman from what angle and how much of her they could show, her makeup was muted, but she still looked elegant and poised. I'm not a bit Jolie fan, but I will give her props at some point if not still now, she listened well to her coaches. Tune in to AC 360 tonight, she will show Brit how publicity is done.

Commander in Chief...Chief Commander...Insane Moron?

2006-06-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

I have supported the war. I have kept most of my thoughts to myself when it came to President Bush...most...not all.

For those of you who may not have heard even though it was on CNN and every network evening news, back in April we had a series of tornados that ripped through three counties here in Iowa doing millions of dollars of damage. Now I have donated to the Katrina funds. I gave to the tsunami funds. I give to several charities. So even though I don't live in the counties that had the damage. And I didn't suffer any damage at all from these twisters. I'm just a little miffed that our illustrious leader couldn't see fit to use some of the tax dollars that I pay in for him to do with as his little oil mongering self would like, to help the citizens of Iowa devastated by yet another nature disaster. No, it wasn't important enough to help the state of Iowa to fund the rebuilding projects. I guess we in Iowa aren't that important...except for that month every four years when we hold the first caucus. They need our votes and we are suddenly important and then they forget about us for another four years.

I'm disappointed, disillusioned, and praying that a Democrat will come to the forefront that I could actually stomach voting for. Because you see in reality, I didn't vote for Bush...I voted against Kerry. I'm disgusted that I am starting to regret that more each day.

Click on this!

2006-06-13T11:46:00.000-05:00

http://d21c.com/terri1/flash/smile.swf

A finance guru I am not.....or Lets get you into the stirrups!

2006-06-07T20:36:00.000-05:00

I couldn't decide on a title so I used both, oddly enough in a way they both work for the whole thing.

I have been buried under investments and finishing up this quarter, thus I haven't written. Saturday this quarter will be over and I will be free for a week before I start the masochist schedule of three classes and a 10 hour drive.

I had to go to the doctor today. There are a few words that no woman wishes to hear from anyone with the letters MD behind their name. "Let's get you into the stirrups." Every woman needs to have a quota for how many times their feet can be in that position per year without it being for pleasurable purposes. My quota is one. And I have surpassed it....again. Going back to the odd part, I think the fear that struck in me today will be a lot like the fear I will feel on Saturday morning right before the test begins. I digress. So I have been having a lot of pain recently, not something I am unaccustomed to when it comes to the more female dedicated portions of my body. But this was different. This was a new creature that at first seemed like nothing and in three short days turned into Satan! I'll refrain from the gory details. But at the end when the Doctor says, "It's quite common, you did nothing wrong and you couldn't have prevented it." It is one of those times in life when you really want to look at the sky and say "And the purpose of this was??????" I guess men get hernias so it isn't like its one sided or anything. She assured me that it will be better before my final. Which is good because the fear that will be struck on Saturday morning has absolutely nothing to do with my Vee-jay-jay so it shouldn't factor into the equation by reminding me of its existence.

PS...let me just apologize now to any male readers who stopped reading at the word stirrups.

Back home again in Indiana...

2006-05-28T20:41:00.000-05:00

There was a time in my life when I literally lived for the month of May and a week in the summer. During May, I lived, breathed, ate, and dreamed the Indy 500. Then during a week in the summer, everything became about the Michigan 500. I would get tickets and pit passes and I was in heaven for 5 days. Reality of being an adult took away my dreams of being the first woman to win the Indy 500 and now I live in envy of Danica Patrick. I have been so busy this May that it hadn't really even occurred to me that it was May...not just May but MAY! Until I heard an ad on my way home yesterday that Michael Andretti had returned from retirement to play at the Brickyard this year along with his son Marco, who makes me feel old because I remember the year he was born. I remember having a huge crush on his father, and a huge crush on his uncle basically I just wanted to be an Andretti. I remember being transfixed by happy hour at the brickyard. The last hour of the day during qualifying between 4 - 5 each Saturday and Sunday when the sun had gone down enough to shadow the track and it would cool and the speeds would go up.

So today I plopped myself onto the couch and watched the 500, cheering on Michael. 3rd place isn't bad for coming back out of retirement, and I am certain Marco earned himself Rookie of the Year with his second place finish.

It was a great day of memories and still wishing I could be there...driving.

A friends a friend forever...

2006-05-27T22:07:00.000-05:00

Yep I pulled out and dusted off this MWS fav of mine...

So last week on Saturday, I screwed up at lunch, I had made plans with Ry on Friday, and then my group was supposed to meet and I had a chance to have lunch with Greg...And I was double booked and not thinking. Ry and Dan had lunch together elsewhere. But of course in my mania filled week, I was worried about Ry and afraid he might be upset with me. But the week was crazy and I know he has been killer busy at work recently so I didn't get him called to apologize for my forgetful mind.

I was nervous about seeing him today...How silly am I. At lunch time when he came down the stairs while I was standing next to Dan, one smile when I looked up at him erased every fear filled thought I had this week in respect to this. I'm a freak, just thought I would let you all know that. It can't possibly be normal to worry about all this small stuff. Anyway, a hug kicked the last of the thoughts out of my head and off we went to lunch.

The group of six of us decided to take out lunch and sit outside to eat it since it was simply unbelievably beautiful in Chicago today. We sat down near the river and the conversation as always had me in stitches.

Snippets of conversation...(whether they translate or not for those who were not there, they will be a source of amusement for me in the future...)

A penny picked up off the ground, "If the market was efficient, this would not be on the ground."

"I've forgotten everything I know about balance sheets." "Balance sheet, what's a balance sheet?"

"Do you think we could organize the panhandlers, give them money and insurance and have them panhandle for us?" "We would have to have some sort of box so they couldn't get the money back out that was given to them." "And GPS so we always knew where they were." "I think we are moving from entrepreneurship to pimpship." "You wouldn't be Chief Executive Officer, you would be Chief Executive Pimp."

"Imagine what we could come up with if we used this education for good!"

Story told in old geezer professor voice...."So there's this guy, and he likes to draw on women's' backs. He likes to draw with crayon so it doesn't really hurt the woman. And if he doesn't get to draw on a woman's back once a month, he becomes very violent and kills people." "That's not a real case." "Yes, it is, he told this story in class." "It was to figure out if one person's short time discomfort was worth it for the greater good of society." "And then he walked up to a girl in the class and said would you let him draw on your back?" "He did not." "he did." ...The conversation digressed from there and got more amusing and likely to most more offensive. Personally my sides hurt from laughing while I typed that.

Leave the Driving

2006-05-27T08:25:00.001-05:00

Neil Young seems appropriate this morning....

"driver's license and registration,"
Said the officer with his flashlight
Searchin' around the floor of the car
Smellin' like somethin' ain't right

Ok, so I am driving into Chicago this morning. I am about 20-30 miles west of Rockford heading toward 90. There is a group of three of us driving together at about 80, (in a 55). When we see just a glimpse of something flashing at the bottom of the hill and around a corner through some trees....BRAKE LIGHTS hit all three cars. We head down and around the corner to be met by four, count 'em FOUR patrol cars. Three on one side of the road, one on my side of the road, and one what appears to be abandon car on the side with the three. All four officers were on the side of the road with the most vehicles, and standing behind one of the patrol cars in a conspiratorial little group gathered around one that must have been in charge who was looking through some book he had laying out on the truck of the car.

We went by while the four stooges stood and watched us go by, and this provided my mind entertainment for at least the next 20 miles or so....so I'll share...

Man from apparently abandoned car sits bleeding in the back of one patrol car while the four stooges look through the book on the trunk of the car... "Men, there must be something in here we can charge him with, we already slapped him around, patted him down and cuffed him, we need to find something?"

The book is actually a map book. "the line is behind the car, so it is in your jurisdiction, you take care of it." Second officer, "no it is in front of the car, so its in your jurisdiction, you take care of it."

There were more but I have probably bored you already. But seriously what manner of creature could be so fearsome that it requires four of the sheriff's men?

PS -- that last part was for the 'leeners.

Time for me to go get smarter, or fall asleep....the Italian prof is a snoozer.

ts

Leave the Driving

2006-05-27T08:25:00.000-05:00

Miss Independent

2006-05-27T03:12:00.000-05:00

Miss Independent, Miss Self Sulficient, Miss Keep your Distance..........(describes me entirely too well, and for the purpose of this post....) Miss Forgetful Mind!

I posted the pics of my Europe trip about a week ago. I can't for the life of me remember how I put that flash link in the side bar of my blog. So to get to the pics use this link...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/42924991@N00/sets/

And select Spain/France May 2006 set. Enjoy!

And finally, its 3 AM again, but this time, I'm heading off to Chicago...couldn't bring myself to make the drive in holiday traffic last night. So I'm off....Aileen, my plan is to hit Trader Joe's on my way home! Better tell me what to buy this morning so I will have the list this afternoon. Oh, and this is the first weekend testing out the new XM radio I installed in the Jeep otherwise known as "the Beast!"

Margin for Error

2006-05-26T15:14:00.001-05:00

Indigo Girls have a song that talks about a margin for error...I can't recall which one though, it isn't the title I know that.

Anyway, this week I had the distinct honor of meeting a friend for dinner while I was in KC to see a supplier. Actually it was a friend of an ex, who I have kept in not so close contact but when I knew I was going down there I contacted her to let her know I would be in the area. I hadn't talked with her since the time I was considering taking an assignment in Brazil and I hadn't seen her in two and a half years. She has a great memory, she remembered who paid the last time, she remembered I call my employer "Uncle John", and so much more.

It is rare to find a kindred spirit I have found, at least for me. Leeners and I are...But on a different levels. Our friendship was tried by the fire of stupid immature boys and forged by heartbreak, joy, and her ability to put up with my mania and me hers. My KC friend who I will refer to as KC now, is different kind of kindred. She knows me even when I didn't know myself. She treaded a path I am on long before I did. So she was able to tell me everything I'm going through is normal. Nothing better in the world than to find out things are normal when you think you are the oddest duck in the pond. 3 hours and a bottle wine, we talked about a lot of stuff. She told me I hadn't left much margin for error in my life....That's the truth, oddly, I hadn't even considered it. She also said I'm still running and not ready for a relationship. This I have given much thought, why have I been running so hard?

We talked about marriage and the sacrifices, and the difficulty of allowing the submissive side to come out. (Aileen pick up your jaw...hehehe)

It was an intense three hours, and yet so NEEDED. So thank you KC for helping me get my arms around my own head.

During the conversation I found out that my ex's mother died, she was this amazingly strong, wonderful woman. I almost cried when I found out...Kept it together! But I thought I should contact him but that will open a can of worms that would be painful for both of us and in reality I would be doing it for me not for him.

So now after talking with her, I have been thinking a lot and someone this morning said that I'm so scared I don't trust. This is true...I just don't know how to fix it. Perhaps it goes back to that margin for error thing...

Cause you had a bad day....

2006-05-23T20:08:00.000-05:00

Yes it is a musical week.... small intermission for lyrics...

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
So where is the passion when you need it the most

Top Five clues I should have stayed in bed:
1. Arguing with someone I care about before even hitting the shower
2. It's Tuesday which means there's a staff meeting within minutes of my arrival to work
3. Within the first fifteen minutes of said staff meeting, I piss off a team mate.
4. Within the first twenty minutes of said staff meeting, not only do I piss off a team mate, but I also start a snowball effect where another team mate continues my questions of the first team mate which elicited fingerpointing and defensive reaction in first team mate.
5. After said staff meeting, I went to apologize to first team mate only to be told not to apologize to him, but to apologize to God and never to question him again. (And no I still haven't figured out how God came into play in this)

And it all happened before 10 AM - the time I normally actually wake up to the fact that I am dressed, at work, and answering email.

Yeah, I had a bad day....and the above was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I should have just stayed in bed.

Its 3 AM

2006-05-23T03:12:00.000-05:00

I was going to put the song lyrics in here, but they don't really apply. But I love Matchbox 20 anyway.

I can't sleep. I woke up a half hour ago and let my black feline back in the house and now I'm awake. I took a half day of vacation today. I went into work and within about 20 minutes I was annoyed with those who have cushier jobs than me complaining about how they don't want to do their work when I watch them dump everything on someone else already. Then I opened my email and within 5 minutes wanted to throw every factory tactical person off the island. By this point I was staring at my puter thinking "This job SUCKS!" I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. I'm gonna have sheepskins galore in a few more months along with a second mortage sized payment per month to pay back the student loans. And you know what...I'm a clerk. I'm a highly paid, unappreciated clerk. You might as well put me at the check out counter at Walmart and say "Scan this."

There are benefits to my job. I have gotten to see a lot of the world that I wouldn't have seen otherwise. I'm spoiled when I travel. I have some very cool projects going that I know will help my company a lot! But the day to day work...the mindless, mind numbing sit in front of puter for 8 hours a day work...SUCKS! And my pay sucks, and I keep thinking about 6 months after I'm done with school and that second mortgage sized bill starts rearing its ugly head and God help me I better be in a different job then I have now by then and pays a heck of a lot more or my standard of living is going to significantly decrease. This factored into my passing on the Miata, which I wanted ...coveted. This school thing better pay off. Everyone keeps telling me, it will pay off...when I complain about the drive. Today someone said that to me. I wanted to scream. People keep saying that and yet my position stays the same. I wanted to yell, "Will it?" "Are you certain?" "You have that same smile on your face that everyone else does when they say that?" Or my boss' boss...his line is classic "You are doing the right thing by going to school." Am I? Really? Are you just saying that? While you stare at me with those blank unreadable manager eyes? When do we learn that look? The look that says "I don't give a crap what happens to you as long as my career keeps moving?" Will it happen will I become like them...one of those robots that only cares about myself? Or will I keep helping my co-workers find good mentors? Encourage them to go to decent schools and go into debt? No, I won't get that look, I'll be like D squared...I hope I'm like D squared otherwise what's the point? The money is a product of the relationships, not the other way around.

Then I look at my friends who are married or having kids, I keep thinking I missed a boat somewhere. Yes, I focused on my career - everyone always knew I would. Yes, I have focused on school. Blah blah blah....

Anyway, after my coworker told me that school would pay off in the end, I decided I needed to get out of there before I suffocated, which was a real threat today. At noon, I popped my head up and said, "unless you have objections, I'm outta here for the day." To which he said "have fun studying." my response "Who said anything about studying, I'm gonna go dig in the dirt and find a new attitude. " And dig in the dirt I did...I went and bought $130 in flowers and I potted and planted the rest of the afternoon. Good for the soul. Just not good enough...cuz its 3 AM and here I sit. I should have changed into a tank today, I'm working on a dang good farmers' tan now.

For almost two years, I have been in a speeding car racing toward graduation. The last few days have brought the realization, that I am in a speeding car racing toward a marker six months after graduation....I hope that brick wall gets knocked down before I turn into a crash dummy.

Its almost 4 AM...maybe there is another hour of sleep in me before I go back to the think tank.

The morning after

2006-05-16T07:23:00.000-05:00

Ok, no pics yet, I know I know. I downloaded them onto my work puter I haven't gotten them on the home one yet.

Aileen, not only did I miss you last night I hated that you were two time zones away. I kept wanting to call you during the commercials of Gray's while I was either laughing or crying (stupid dog scene had me blubbering like an idiot). But I didn't want to spoil the show for you since it wasn't even on for you yet.

I'm test driving a second car tomorrow. A little Miata. Not sure what I am going to do yet. Tried to talk it over with my dad...he's got his own stuff to think about so he never really focused on talking it out with me. I love my family, but I'm awfully isoslated recently, even when they are sitting in my house.

I broke the Cardinal Rule!

2006-05-13T00:17:00.000-05:00

First, not bad my friend... this translation of the French below should help...

My friend, my friend... it is not as attractive as you might think, although I do not deny the benefits (of travel). The hotels age, the Eiffel Tower loses its luster, it becomes old hat. Spain never loses its luster, the men are simply astonishing, I wish that I could have remained there all week and flirted with Juan, alas Paris called my name as did Versailles and I have pictures to show. But my preferred place to visit will always be somewhere I can catch up with my partner in crime from the days of university gone by.

Last reference to the Atrebs woman herself...with whom I duel in French. I would translate your section this eve if I weren't so damn tired from breaking the cardinal rule of international travel....and unfortunately this has nothing to do with sex!

The cardinal rule of international travel - upon return from Europe do not sleep before 9 PM so that one can sleep til morning and get back on US time. I couldn't do it...I was weak this time. I was trying to do my investments homework, I had a call with Wes, one of the guys from class, I couldn't think straight, I could quite frankly barely form full sentences. So after the call, I went to bed...I think it was around 6. So it is now midnight and I am awake, good thing though I have homework to complete. I think I might need a bit more sleep first though.

Dolce Beijos!

Honey, I'm home!

2006-05-12T15:15:00.000-05:00

I'm in Chicago, which is almost home. I was so happy to be home I nearly danced through the airport. I love the United States! I could live other places, but this will always be home!

I have a ton of homework to do because of spending too much time out at night with suppliers. It was a good time so I will not complain. I'll post pictures on Sunday.

Dolce Beijos!

Viva la France

2006-05-12T00:19:00.000-05:00

Mon ami, mon ami....it n'est pas aussi fascinant que vous pouvez penser, bien que je ne nie pas les avantages. Les hôtels vieillissent, la tour d'Eiffel perd son lustre, il devient vieux chapeau. L'Espagne ne perd jamais son lustre, les hommes sont simplement étonnante, je souhaitent que je pourrais être resté là les tapas de manger de semaine et flirter avec Juan, hélas Paris appelé de même que Versailles et moi pour avoir des images à montrer. Mais mon endroit préféré à visiter sera toujours quelque part je peut se rattraper par rapport à la cohorte dans le crime des jours d'université allés près.

On the front of Versailles there is a large engravement that says (rough gist from memory) Toutes la glories de la France. HA! We had to bail these ungrateful bastards out twice! If it weren't for Americans, they would be speaking German! Half kidding aside, Versailles is breathtaking. The gardens were spectacular. I got to see a side of Paris I hadn't before and I actually liked it. Alright, I do enjoy downtown Paris too, and I do love the Tower Eiffel even if I can't spell it worth a damn, too many vowels for the dyslexic in me. Most people stayed on the main areas of the gardens, but when you got off the beaten path was when you found the really beautiful stuff such as Le Jardin De Roi. I have lots of pictures to post once I get back. My next trip back to Paris, I have one thing left that I haven't seen that I really do wish to tour and that is the Musee D'Orsay. It is where all the impressionist art is displayed lots and lots of Monet! A few less breasts than the Louvre. I'm on a plane home though in four hours...YIPPEE!!! I don't actually get home until Saturday night though after class.

I'm off to shower, get packed up and hit the tarmack! They have a very cool display at the airport of the concorde, at night it is lit up so that it looks like it is taking off, afterburners lit up -- very cool!

This trip has changed me a little, perhaps a lot. Not sure, will see when I return home, but I'm different...priorities have changed, I had a couple of nights without internet - I realized how much I missed contact with my friends from school and staying in touch with Aileen. There are some time wasters in my life that lost their priority through the week.

France

2006-05-09T23:21:00.000-05:00

I'm in Orleans, France now. It is pronounced oar-lee-on here. I don't have much time to write this morning, but I'm still kicking, just been busy. Yesterday was a very long drive while we figured out how to get here. We drove around the outskirts of Paris, only seeing the very top of the Effifel Tower. I am traveling with my boss now. We have both see all the sights in downtown Paris, so we are going to Versailles if we have extra time since neither of us has been there. Not to mention, downtown Paris is a major pain in the ass.

We have switched hotels for Thursday night, where we were supposed to stay was a dump so we switched that and I got my rental car for Friday night changed to Hertz. $4 was the difference between Thrifty and Hertz....NEVER again.

I'm not homesick this trip I think in part because Juan went so far out of his way to take care of me while I was in Spain and because now I am traveling with my boss and he is as irrevent as I am and he doesn't like France anymore than I do. So even though we got lost yesterday, we weren't really lost, we knew where we were, we just couldn't get to the plant. But we have been laughing a lot which wards off homesickness. He has a three year old at home who has given him a major guilt trip because he has been traveling most of the last three weeks. He got all teary eyed talking about it at dinner last night. It was nice to see emotion in him over it. I imagine that is how I effected my dad when he was traveling so much when I was Tim's son's age. Ok, gotta run or I'll be late.

Dolce Beijos!
ts

SPAIN! The world is soooo small!

2006-05-07T17:12:00.000-05:00

I am in Spain tonight, San Sebastian to be precise. I love it here! So I got off the plane, and came down to get my bags. I didn't know the person that was meeting me other than that his name was Juan. As I came down the stairs, I met eyes with a man, and the words that went through my head were "Please...God...let...that...be...him." God answers prayers because that was him! After we got underway, I found a sly way to find out if he was married, single! Hot damn. Living with his girlfriend. HMMPPHHH! Ok, well hot anyway, and he isn't married, so I could flirt at least and have fun. He dropped me off at the hotel so I could take a shower (majorly needed) then he would pick me up for dinner. The shower was SPLENDID! As I am waiting in the lobby for him to return, a man walks into the lobby, obviously American. I don't know how that was obvious, it wasn't any one thing, but you travel enough you pick up on certain cues. We made eye contact, he smiled, and I think I squinted (friendly, huh?). But I kept thinking I know that man. Then I reminded myself I was a quarter the way around the world and wouldn't know anyone here. Until five minutes later, it dawned on me who that was! It was the President of one of my suppliers from my former desk. And actually a company that my hot companion knew of and we had discussed on the way from the airport. I told him of the odd coincidence as we headed for dinner.

Dinner tonight consisted of going from pub to pub, having a LOT of red wine and a snack at each place. It was fun. We left one place, and we are walking down the cobblestone street when I see Mark, the President from the lobby, walking with two others, right in front of us. I asked Juan if he wanted to meet him and he said yes. So I got Mark's attention only to find him with my boss' boss! And Inigo, who works for Mark, but I love his name simply because it reminds me of the Princess Bride. The five of us spent the rest of the evening together and it was a lot of fun and probably better because I had a lot of wine and Juan is hot and Taken...Taken and hot...just Taken!!!!

My hotel room looks over the bay that goes into the ocean, I have the sound of waves to rock me to sleep. Speaking of which, it is 12:30 AM here, time to hit the hay....night all....

Dolce Beijos!

Being Present

2006-05-07T16:45:00.000-05:00

The concept of "being present" was first introduced to me about eight years ago during a class I took called "Foundations". This class lead to a coaching class that lead me to become a coach for my company. When I first heard this concept, I knew it was something I struggled with. Recently, it has occurred to me that I don't just struggle with it, I flat out ignore it.

Yesterday, in my afternoon class one of the projects presented is about how information technology effects our productivity. The class was polled (realize that the class is rather similar, we are all highly motivated, successful yet not satisfied, professionals who are likely all work-aholics). We were asked how many of us do email while attending meetings or teleconferences, all the hands went up except the profs, who remarked, "So much for being present."

Then I got on the plane and the first movie I watch was "Rumor has it" with Jennifer Aniston. It is not the greatest movie, but Jen has a warerobe to die for in this movie. Anyway, Kevin Costner's character talks about a bad experience and how it taught him to live in the moment, to be present.... Are ya seeing the continued pattern in my day?

So it got me thinking about how often I am really present in situations, how often am I in the moment. Not very often, which may explain why I feel like I am always in fast forward. I'm always thinking about the next thing before the thing I am currently involved in is done. My boss' boss brought this up to me a few weeks ago. I'll be honest, I dismissed it at the time, but it was brought to my memory when this all came up yesterday.

When I am in meetings, I am doing email. When I am on the phone, I am driving. When I am doing homework, the TV is on in the background. When I am eating, I am watching TV or driving. When I get a new job, I am already thinking of the next one. When I start one class, I am thinking about the next one. When I am in a conversation, I am watching people. I'm never there...with you whoever you might be at the time, in the moment. And sadly, the last time I remember, truly being 100% in the moment, was being in Vegas with Aileen. I am always multi-tasking. I always have too much to do, too much to accomplish and not enough time to get it done. Basically I am like everyone else in the world these days. I don't think this makes me a bad person, I'm not down on myself about it. But I do think it leaves a LOT of room for improvement on how good a friend I am.

This made up a lot of my thoughts on the plane ride here. The other was a fitful dream that left me awake for the rest of the flight that consisted of me telling something who I have feelings for that I have feelings for him, something I have no intentions of ever coming out and saying to him because I know they are not reciprocal. The dream ended with his reaction...

So I need to continue to think about how I can be more present in my life, and not come to this realization again in eight years.

Fast Forward

2006-05-06T10:45:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel your life is moving in fast forward? That describes my week. My head is pounding even as I write this. If the world would just slow down for a moment, I would like to get off for a little rest.

I just came out of my Investments midterm. I was fine with the calculations part. I had the formulas, all I had to do was plug and chug. No problem. Unfortunately the last two problems were True False or it depends and I had to write a one sentence explanation for my answer. HA!!! I can't explain this stuff to myself much less to another human being. But I guess I know what I will be working on for the final. I got to those questions and I just wanted to say, just give me my B and let me go!

Now I am in the computer lab and writing this but will be finishing my paper for my next class in a few moments, because that didn't get done because I was learning to plug and chug and not explain....stupid miscalculation there!

I am only going to the first half of my next class so that I can get to the airport in time for my flight. I have decided I need to allow for more time because the car rental place that will never get my business again is almost as inept as the airlines. I'm going back to Hertz, expensive or not. My time is worth a lot of money to me. I have to remember to call Short's on Monday and have them change my car rental reservation for next week.

O'Hare...I love O'Hare, but not last night. It took longer for my bags to get to the carousel than it did to fly from Cedar Rapids to Chicago. It was ridiculous. I think the baggage handlers stopped for coffee and drank it over a game of cards using my bag as their table!

Aileen is trying to be more positive in her blog, I probably should be too, but I think I may need to get a job that doesn't require me to fly before that will happen.

Off to Europe later today...Dolce Beijos

ts

WooHOO

2006-05-02T14:47:00.000-05:00

After several days of a goggy, sleepy barely awake mode, I have weened myself, ok, cold turkeyed the generic claritin D and I will be picking up plain claritin on my way to the Quad Cities.

Today is momentus! I know when you all read this you are going to think what is the big deal, but this is HUGE in my mind. My mentor invited me to his house for dinner with him and his family. This crosses a line, this says friendship. I know it probably sounds silly, but I respect this man so much. And oddly enough one of things I respect most about him has to do with his wife, who until tonight I have never met before. But I have never heard him say one remotely negative thing about his wife, including no negative tones, no groans, no rolls of the eyes, nothing remotely publically disrespectful. This is something so rare at my company that has always impressed me. I have learned through him how I want to be as a wife someday when it comes to how I speak about my husband when he is not around. Even if I am angry with him because of some pet peeve poked that morning.

I have midterms on Saturday. I'm scared about the investments midtem. The guys are so cool about it so laid back but this is their industry. I build stuff. Technically buy stuff to be built, but blah blah blah.

I took today off work to study and will be leaving shortly. I'll be home tomorrow night, and things will have to start getting ready for the trip to Europe. Europe and midterms in one week. I need my head examined.

Oh, I'm planning a vacation...a real vacation. I'm thinking about Alaska. The land of no cell phones at least that is my home. Leeners, want to go?

My body hates all things SPRING

2006-04-29T11:15:00.000-05:00

It's official I'm sick. One week before I leave for France and I'm sick. I have never been to France without getting sick before or while I am there. Perhaps it isn't spring, perhaps it is just France. Anyway, I'm exhausted from taking the antihistamines, I'm aching because I keep forcing my body to move. And I really just want to go to bed, unfortunately I am five hours till the end of class and five hours of driving to get there. Oh, and I know you are dying to know this....a side effect of the generic Claritin D is a constant, incessant need to PEE! Annoying at best, and yes I thought it necessary to share!

Small intermission in writing there to watch the Columbus Drive bridge go up to let the sail boats out into Lake Michigan from the Chicago River. Been going to school here for almost two years, never saw that before today.

So the trip this last week to Lexington KY and St. Louis was interesting. My new boss is awesome. He is fun to travel with and pretty laid back. I haven't had a boss this good since Rippe left. We had some extra time so we went up in the St Louis Arch. That was fun. Another test of my fear of heights but this one wasn't difficult at all. I'm fine as long as I am enclosed and without windows. It is more challenging with windows and it is damn near impossible without enclosure. I think my boss would have stayed up there all day. You can see right into the new Busch Stadium. The egg-pod tram ride up is the tiniest bit disconcerting, but not bad. I imagine someone who is claustrophobic would have a hell of a time in there. It is only four foot high inside the pod. Bumped my head a couple of times. It is a worth while experience.

I saw the Calumet Farm in Lexington. It is the white fenced farm you see every year if you watch the KY Derby. It is pretty. I was hoping to see it from the plane on the way out but we hit the clouds too quick. I was asleep moments after that.

Well, I'm home for this week and leave on Friday to come to Chicago and Saturday leave for Spain. Tuesday I will head for France and then back on Friday for school on Saturday. Ain't life grand?

It's that time of year again

2006-04-21T22:30:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is spring. And to many this means love is in the air, blah blah blah...you know how that one goes. To me it means this is one of the two times a year when the windows are open for a few weeks. Trees are starting to bud which means the flowers aren't far behind and I will be closing up again and turning on the air before the pollen infiltrates and makes my nose run for the Arctic. So the windows are open, to most this would be a pleasurable thing they would not think twice about, not at my house. This is the time of year that my neighbors whom I adore! get a peek into my life.

The other day I was walking around my house giving some song, I don't remember which one my best lung filled harmony...in order words I was belting it! As I walked into my bedroom with the open window that faces Richie's yard and realize there's Rich! I did a u-turn so fast out of that room. He is so kind, he hasn't said a thing but I know he heard me...and no I didn't stop I just went into the office instead.

Today I left work early because I was not feeling well and I wanted to take a nap before leaving for Chitown. I slept til 4 PM which was much needed and the headache was gone when I woke. But sleeping felt really good! I got up and was on the road by 5 PM but not without a verbal lecture to myself about sucking it up and remember you got yourself into this whole MBA mess. I am positive if my neighbors heard any part of my self lecture that yes was an outloud monologue with myself they would have been chuckling.

C'est la vie!

I know I'm a slacker

2006-04-18T18:56:00.000-05:00

The reason I haven't posted in so long is...

Investments! This class is a royal pain in the....

I have not had to work this hard at a class before in my life! Here's the kicker. I'm so completely unsure of myself in this class that I almost skipped out of my team discussion of the homework because first I only had the first two problems done and I was relatively sure I had them wrong. My pride said don't make a fool of yourself in front of four guys. After a little encouragement and finding out they were struggling as well. We talked. I actually had the first two problems correct. The sigh of relief heard around the world!!! I get this class under my belt and it will be smooth sailing to the sheepskin.

So I gave up sugar a while back now. Saturday on the way home from Chicago...all I wanted in the world was Culver's Frozen Custard. And by some painfully cruel joke I pass by four on the way home...five if you count the one that is a mile out of the way! I am happy to report..I did not indulge my craving however, my cheery disposition was out the window by the time I got to an hour from home and still had one more to pass.

The antichrist got a new job and is no longer working in my building. People asked me if I was going to congratulate her and considering she will not even say hello to me when we pass in the hall anymore I thought that would be a rather one-sided conversation. And since while I was saying congratulations what would be going through my mind and written all over my face would be "don't let the revolving door hit you in the ass on the way out." I thought it best to let sleepy dogs lie. We don't like each other and both of us are well aware of it. And some day when she works for me I plan to fire her. :)

I like pizza

2006-04-10T06:21:00.000-05:00

Have you seen the movie "Multiplicity" with Michael Keaton? Basically he is so busy that he keeps cloning himself and then the clones are making clones, and well the last clone made is this complete moron that sits on the washer and dryer eating pizza and all he says is "I like pizza." A friend of mine who moved away a long time ago coming up on three years now :( Because I am in school I don't get to see her very often, well at all more like it. We keep in contact via phone and such, but yesterday I got a text message from her that said "I like pizza" I had been studying or reading the most boring and frankly 1984 scary book for class called Search. The message was well timed and had me laughing for a good five minutes. Only thing was I got it about five hours after she had sent it, and had just happened to move into the room where my phone was and heard the tones.

Study break yesterday: I watched the movie "The Wedding Date". Loved Dermot in this movie. He has this line in the movie though, that had to be written by a woman, ok, maybe it was written by a man, but if it was, then that man needs to come to my door today!!!! He said "I think I would miss you even if we had never met." It was a puddle of human ooze moment. Definitely a chick flick but a good one for Sunday afternoon to curl up with.

Grey's Anatomy - disappointing in that it was a rerun...hmmmpphhh.

The end of last week was fabulous at work. I had a major win, and the kudos came rolling in from all sides. It was awesome. Even had a thank you voice mail from the factory manager - got to bask in it while I can. Cause you know...100 attagirls are blown away by only 1 oh shit.

I'm off...time to shower.

Maddening

2006-04-04T03:40:00.000-05:00

Its 3 AM and I'm awake! I can't seem to get my body to understand what time zone it is in. After the little time change on Saturday night, I was up the first half of Sunday night. Talk about tired at work on Monday. After work last night, I had dinner, went to go for a walk and ended up talking with my neighbors for a while before I went next door to Richie's to snag Casey, the big tan dog to go for a walk. We walked a few miles before returning home, passing the most stunning man that I didn't know lived in my neighborhood. Dang when he smiled and said hello, I had an Ally McBeal moment as I disengrated into a puddle of human ooze only to recover smile and say hello back. All the while Casey dragging me along behind her. He was so fine! If you saw the movie, The Truth about Cats and Dogs, when Janeane Garafalo is on roller skates getting pulled by the dog toward the very hot guy who kisses her. This was the thought that went through my head, first of how ridiculous I looked getting dragged by the dog and second that it was a tradegy that I didn't know the man's name and that he didn't kiss me. Anyway, I finished my taxes last night, got some homework done, and exhausted from lack of sleep last night went to bed at 10.....so why? why am I awake at 3 AM? Only answer - God doesn't like me very much!

Check out the Pics of China

2006-04-02T18:28:00.000-05:00

Click on the flickr link in the side bar to see my set of pictures from China. Enjoy!

It's April Fools Day!

2006-04-01T07:56:00.001-06:00

I deem it appropriate that the first day of the Spring Quarter of school falls on April Fools Day. Also I find it appropriate that we turn back our clocks one hour on April Fools Day, mostly because I am having enough trouble adjusting back to central time, now we are going to go mess with it some more!

Coming back from China every flight was delayed. The first two hours, the second four hours. Now I have said before I don't know much about the inner workings of the airline industry, but come on, how hard is it to get a plane off the ground at the time you say you are going to get it off the ground. This doesn't seem like rocket science to me. Obviously I am wrong because not a single airline can get it right. By the way, I was flying United this time. So I have this theory that since none of the airlines are actually good at what they do, and that it takes an incredible amount of capital to get an airline up and running that not a single airline in the business has any motivation to improve their incredibly poor performance and thus I will have to just grin and bear it.

But I have a question for all my friends who travel a great deal for work...How much extra would you pay to be guaranteed a flight you are booked on would leave on time?

See when I got into Chicago, but some freak coincidence, I ran into my friend Jeff in the Red Carpet club for United. Jeff is the friend I stay with on Friday nights in Chicago...So truly this was a freak occurrence. Especially since I haven't flown United in a couple of years. Last night, I stayed at his house. Guess who wasn't here...Jeff! Stuck in LA at the airport. So he missed an evening with his wife and kids when he travels more than I do. I would think for a traveler like him, this would be an ideal expenditure to be assure getting home for the weekend. Someone out there with more capital than I will have to put that theory to the test.

Ok, it is 8:04 here and I am off to school! Dolce Beijos!

Still exhausted from China

2006-03-31T05:51:00.000-06:00

I have a theory. When you travel, you run completely on adrenaline. Therefore, I didn't have jetlag while in China. I am home now and I feel like I have been hit by a Mack Truck. By 3 PM I need a nap and by 3 AM I am wide awake. This is not working well for me and could be disastrous tomorrow at school.

I have lots of pics to share from China. I will get them downloaded on Sunday and posted here. I'm doing my taxes that day too! So I will be planting my booty in front of this computer for several hours. And I might even try to get a jump on the Investments homework that I already know about. I have to take this class for the finance concentration. It will be worth all the work in the end. I'm going to keep telling myself that.

Dolce Beijos!

HMMPPHHH

2006-03-31T05:08:00.000-06:00

So jp the elder called me at work today and the first thing he tells me is that he can't comment in my blog because it asked for his name, rank, and SS number. That is so unacceptable! So I have made the move to blogger too. I have used blogger before and so it is a return to home for me. Comment away jp the elder!